Half Nelson

When I was a child part of the reason I loved going to Jamaica was because the hotel we stayed at had a satellite and was my first immersion in cable. We had HBO back in Brooklyn, but down there was TBS, CNN, and my personal favorite the Disney Channel. Now all I really loved to watch was Kids Incorporated and the Mickey Mouse Club. When we returned to the states and we finally got cable, I begged them to pay the extra moolah just so I could continue my MMC addiction.

Now as an adult I never would have thought that I would see so many of my childhood idols doing big things. Justin Timberlake might have released the best album of the year. JC Chasez, well, he has the better voice and he is working on the follow up. Keri Russell turned into a not so bad actress. Christina Aguilera's voice matured into (sadly) the best of the young crop. Britney. Alright, forget Britney. But all the others you could have pointed to success. For the singers, there are the voices. Keri Russell was just cute and that has turned into beautiful. Not much of a surprise for success. But there on that show was Ryan Gosling, who because he didn't sing that often, fell to the wayside often.

But I remember him. I remember that each person on the show had specific things they did. Like Britney was more a dancer and Christina and Chasez were singers primarily, although they had to interchange. You couldn't always be the center of attention. But I really don't remember Ryan singing. He acted a lot. In the sketches. In the fake soap opera thing they had. I remember. And he was the star guy.

So fast forward a decade or so and a forced viewing of "The Notebook" with Coffee Bean. Hey i know that guy. It's the guy from Emerald Cove from the Mickey Mouse Club. Ummmm Ummmm. Ryan. That's Ryan.

And today I saw a movie where he played a crack addicted 8th grade history teacher/basketball coach in Brooklyn. And he was utterly fantastic. Lately I have become more appreciative of the things actors do that aren't in scripts to convey something about the character he's portraying. Mr. Gosling does one of the finest jobs of conveying the quality of disillusionment and denial and just complete lack of faith in one's self. There are wistful looks in the distance that he masters. The eye rubs are dead on. Just the random disconnection of his body. If someone told me he channeled a crack head at a seance, I would have totally believed. I've never felt sympathy for such a misguided asshole but damn Gosling gets the job done.

Though the film focuses mostly on him and his sad life, another plot twist those writers throw at us is the relationship with his black student who eventually sells him crack too. Shareeka Epps is fantastic. Amazing that before this I don't think she did anything else or I think that's what Vibe said about her. She plays the tough girl coming of age but not really wanting to because her life is crap already (brother in jail, nowhere father, mom works doubles on the regular). But she is pretty good. And damn that movie is good. If for some reason the kids at work don't keep me off cocaine, this movie sure did. I left there thinking I was going to quit my cocaine habit and check into rehab. Then the rain hit me and I realized I've never even seen cocaine live. That's how much of an impression was left.

If this guy doesn't win an Oscar in my lifetime, then Jesus must have come back before he got the chance.