Sunshine Chronicles #3

My godbrother, who served as my childhood best friend and who I rediscovered today is still an excellent friend, picked me up at my aunt's house around noon. After I sent off the rent check I forgot to leave in my haste, we ambled around the city car shopping and intermittently discussing relationships, sports, politics, and all the other randomness that men our age do.



First he stopped at a spot he likes to frequent. There the love affair that was budding with a sexy black Dodge Viper was prematurely terminated by a slightly racist owner who wouldn't let him take it for a test drive, though he's bought from the dealership before. Tempered by that we skipped over the BMW dealership as well. Two young black men rolling up in a rented Kia doesn't exactly garner enthusiasm amongst the sales staff. But we did go to his definite intended destination which was the Infiniti dealership.



As torrential rains began to pour we luckily ran into a salesman who originally hailed from Long Island so we were immediately put at ease. The car he wanted to see was out in the rain so we headed into the last year's model which was in the showroom. And just like the car shows we used to frequent as children, we ooohed and aaahed at the sleek lines and incredible craftmanship of the machine. Then the Mother Nature decided to pull back the rains just enough for the salesman to grab the keys to the coveted car in the rain and put it back in its covered arena so we could sample it for real and give our imaginations a break.



One day, I will tell my children that this was the car that actually made me get serious about getting over my New Yorker/Peter Pan complex and get a damn license. I might get a fish and name it Infiniti G37 just to say I have one. The sleek lines and amazing attention to the design aspect of it drew me in. The performance specs, both on paper and what I felt in a test drive of last year's model, made me melt. But the clincher was how when I plugged in my iPod, the Infiniti symbol came up on my iPod's screen and we could control it through the dash and the steering wheel. And there it was. Cars are toys. I love to play. I want to play. And go fast at the same time. I'm sure my dad won't get it, but he'll just be glad I've got the license eventually.


We came back to his new mini McMansion which he's lived in less than a month. And when I saw the space, I immediately wanted to own a home. Before it has been a passing fancy. I was always ambivalent about it growing up in the city. Every once in a while there is a passing fancy whenever I see Banana and her sister making improvements on the Milk Street Mansion but I never really had to own. Seeing the space and the huge television and just the autonomy of it all. Making a space completely mine is very intriguing. I was motivated again. So it's a good thing I want to find some direction because these desires will require capital I do not have.

Sunshine Chronicles #2

The world keeps turning and change is inevitable, but the few bits of stability we have are often taken for granted. Last night when I was looking for more ibuprofen for my troubling sinus aches, it was easy to find cause I knew exactly where to look. Why was that? Because my aunt is a Harriott woman and so was my grandmother. Along with my other aunt, they passed along the certain traits of organization to their children, including my mother. So in no time I had found the meds along with the bowl of fresh fruit that you can find in each of their houses. And this was the first time I had ever stepped into her house.

This morning I knew that there would be cereal somewhere and knew that there would be tpast and margarine to accompany them. Of course some special treat was somewhere around the corner, and my mother delivered it in the form of ackee, a Jamaican specialty. And though I have been away from these treasures for so long, and don't really even crave them as much as I once did, it is so nice to know that I can still count on them.

Sunshine Chronicles #1

Today I embarked on the longest journey I've undertaken in a while and I eventually ended up in Florida. Mom had purchased the ticket in the myriad of all this other activity and I had kind of lost track that it was going to happen until this week. But here I am. Heaven must have smiled on me cause all the travel today has been pretty comfortable. The ride from Mass was free of annoyances and claustrophobia. The train came as soon as I hit the platform. The shuffle on iPod was great. I even got a bagel and lox, repacked my stuff, and made it to the airport on time. And even though I was in a row with an ebullient toddler and his young Chardonnay drinking mom, Jet Blue has DirecTV which delivered me Snorks and Sports Center in between my naps. My bag was even first off the plane.

My godsister (who will get a nickname since she is that cool) picked me up from the airport and even the conversation was amazingly enlightening. In my recent state of self-awareness, she shared some of the same sentiments, so randomly too, that made me feel that maybe I wasn't so abnormal, even though I was starting to accept it. And of course the main point of this trip is to reconnect with the many family and friends that have grown distant over time. Along with seeing my mom's aunt and uncle for the first time in forever, I also got to meet the children of my other godsister. They helped me continue with my playful mood, but its easy when the oldest is only 4 and the twin girls will only be 3 a day before I get more entrenched in an age demographic I am starting to like (25 - 34). But they ran around and made up games on the fly and were darlings. When your biggest concern is avoiding spicy tomatoes and convincing at least one of your little sisters not to watch the Mickey Mouse DVD on the ride home, you are living the life.

On the way home, I was kind of ornery cause some sinus pain aggravated by the flight became a true nuisance. I actually pleaded for pain medication when I usually shy away from it. But now that I have re-upped on it I am restless with energy. I keep wanting to write about all the little revelations I've been having that are adding up into something that might be a direction in my life. Well it's not exactly a direction, but it is the search for one, and that is a huge step for me. I want more time to really give it its due. In this manic state, I'll leave things out.

I'm actually going to be proactive and iron most of my clothes and repack my bag since I initially was so haphazard with it all. Yeah it is boring but for some reason right now it's making me very content.

Puppy Dog Tails

Today I had to give the direction to my boys to only throw water on each other. That was the direction. They had to throw water on each other.

At dinner, after I told one client about another's $600 spending spree, the 12 year old MR client that spent the money screamed "I'm rich," and proceeded to laugh till I gave hime the expectation to take some deep breaths.

Just now one of my 10 year old boys, a closet charmer, said that a girl kissed him once. When I asked him what he said, he smiled and said "Nothing."

This is my life. And my boy Mocha just playfully yelled at me for blogging from work. He's right. But I would have forgotten later.

Heat

This picture was taken in Monterey, California in January 2006. It was the weekend of my friend's wedding, an event that finally told me that I needed to be an adult soon. It wasn't just the wedding itself. I had gone to weddings before without a familial tie. The sheer independence of the trip itself might have been what made it so real. Here I was all the way in California for one of my real friends' marriages. A former suitemate had gotten married and that was more of a novelty to me. But Principessa Bella had a relationship that paralleled my own with Drizzle. Hers went the distance and they even have a eight-month old son.

Subject to entertain myself with my own devices, I have loads of pictures of myself since I had just received the digital camera. Being completely alone gave me license to be just as silly and vain as I wanted. I played with effects. I tried different poses. And then I had the idea to capture myself smoking.

Smoking was always a peculiar thing for me. I came upon it in an unconventional manner. As a matter of fact, I had engaged in the greenery long before I ever touched a cigarette. And I actually didn't initiate my nicotine indulgence with a conventional cigarette but rather a Black & Mild like the one I'm holding above. I coughed and sputtered but within a week or so, I had finished the pack of five. From then I would take breaks and then go through a pack. Initially it was closer to a month, then the breaks were just two weeks. I think I was nightly about a year after I had taken the first drag. But I loved it.

I might have been in love with the rebellious nature of it all. I really could put it away and not ever think about doing it. Whenever I went home, I never dared do it in front of my parents, so I lasted days without even the thought. Or maybe it was just so routine. And I knew the danger of it all. Sometimes I had the thought that people actually get treated for smoke inhalation and I was the kook who was doing it willfully. That buzz is the draw though, the physical and more so the mental.

To be honest, it just was sexy as all hell. With each spark of the cancer stick, a tiny bit of euphoria dispersed throughout my body. This is not the best picture but I definitely can guess what I was feeling at that moment. Secure as all hell, and able to control everything I put my mind to. I think I finally am learning how to transpose that feeling to my actual life.
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Now playing: Common - Ghetto Heaven (TSOI Remix)

Just Hit Me

Moments ago, Posh called me informing me that she has recently been looking at her phone and catching 12:34 more and more often. She then proceeded to tell me that she was slightly tipsy and she was about to use the restroom. She promised to call me back, then promptly hung up. The call was less than a minute.

And just as quickly, she managed to send a text about friends not letting friends dial or text drunk.The item that just hit me is not the truth of this statement. Rather, the actual physical environment where this is all transpiring is the source of my sudden awareness. Why is there liquor at a baby shower?

Is it me or is it just a little suspect that there is actually booze at an event welcoming a new child into the world? The mom can't drink. Why should the baby be hearing clinking glasses? I mean maybe a afterparty for all the lasses relieved they are not yet experiencing the predicament as the celebrated. But at the actual shindig? It just doesn't sit right with me for some reason. Even if I allow for the light beer, wine, or even champagne, shouldn't the sisterhood keep one another from getting out of hand. Tis not the village I want raising my child.

Actually I think that's my old Adventist West Indian man gene speaking. Forget I said anything.

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Now playing: Darien Brockington - Sacrifice (ft. Yahzarah)

Brand New Jones

Last night, I was talking to my new work buddy Secret Stripper (This name will probably be temporary until I know her better). Anyway, we got onto talking about how great it is to wear special clothes, but how few the opportunities are to appropriately don them. She is getting to wear something for her birthday celebration this weekend but there were at least two other items she wanted a chance to wear, including a black cocktail dress.

I say this because my aunt's text messsage has disrupted my sefl-centered plans. She invited me to church and something about a family invitation to church is something I could not deny. Not only do I feel like it would be bad spiritual karma, but also the questions from the fam would escalate to serious levels of suspicion. Best to avoid the headache. I immediately had a crisis cause all my dress clothes are in New York. Then I remembered I did have some khakis and a pair of brown dress shoes I never wear.

Then fashion man went into overdrive. First I was trying to figure out the perfect shirt since I don't like wearing ties without blazers. I had settled on a striped one to offer some summer color. Then I remembered I had a seersucker blazer I had been dying to wear since last year. And now I am going crazy cause I think I found the perfect tie to go with it all.

What is it about the "outfit" that makes every one feel so great? Is it just that the clothes are new or special? Or is it the fact that we know we have spent the time to look our best and feel that way? It's definitely a spirit lifter. Now to see if the outfit actually makes sense.

It's A Beautiful Day

....in the neighborhood. Or at least it was.

I nitially planned on writing this after I came back from my run. But the run bruised my body more than I expected. I was still proud of my shape, round as it might be. But once I walked through the door, my body seemed to respond with relief and released whatever fury it had held back. I felt like I lost five pounds in the shower, just by eliminating the grime that accumulated after running it unexpectedly humid weather. The Gatorade was finished in a matter of seconds.

Today was probably the best day that I have gone running. The sun wasn't too hot. Nothing was off base. At times I felt as if I was starring in my own Nike commercial, proud of my form. Oh but my fellow pedestrians were kind of annoying. This isn't even a big town so I thought people would be more friendly like they are in the town where I went to school. Even though they're racist, they still gave me a smile and a nod. These guys got out the way like I had the plague. Maybe the black guy running so hard, and seemingly with purpose set something off for them. You would think it was a real city.

But as I walked home after purchasing my replenishing liquids, I heard a child over my iPod. As I looked to my left there was a little girl who had spotted me far down the block and was saying hi. I initially was tempted to walk past. No need alarming mom about the random guy walking. But she kept saying it and looking at me. So I waved back and said hi. And she kept saying it. I waved again. And she said it again. This time I smiled and said bye and continued walking. A child shall lead them huh?

And kindness usually comes from the most unexpected places. Though the neighbors across the street are kind of eccentric, they've always been nice. Though aloof at times - like when he has full on conversatios with his bird - he has been considerate and generous. He alerted us to suspicious picture takers, signed for a package when we were all away, and even helped them move in a couch. But I guess lately he's been getting weird and his next door neighbor dropped off some material with Uno after she went snooping. Seems our buddy has some things on his record, most traffic violations and a little theft. His most regular friend is also a sex offender. But both of their crimes were either when they were adolescents or really young adults. If they really wanted to take stuff they could have done it already. And they've been nothing but nice.

So if you're looking for evidence that the human condition isn't completely helpless, I guess we need to look to children and ex-convicts more often

Things I Want

This is a list of things material that I desire. Too often, I make lists in my head, but they get lost in the shuffle. Maybe if I actually put them down, it makes it more concrete. It also gives me more motivation to be disciplined with my spending.

No particular order:

• Trip to Europe
• Computer stuff: Macbook Pro, New Desktop PC, New Hard Drive
• Canon Powershot SD850IS
• Soccer gear: Barca Away Jersey 2006-2007, Funners Retro, Ajax, Spurs
• Two pairs of custom running shoes (Puma & Nike) and the Nike+ kit
• A nice whip
• XBox 360 w/ Madden 08, FIFA 08, NASCAR, Forza

Reputation

This weekend, one of the narcs was missing for one of our kids. I sadly counted that they were correct, when in fact they weren't. It was a simple mistake but I felt horrible. I know I didn't take it but it is a serious thing to have an untrackable narcotic just floating around.

Anyway, the director of health care for our campus came and talked to me about it. But she immediately said "I know you didn't take it." She continued to tell me to be more careful and such but it lasted no more than a minute.

And that's when a random memory from a Sabbath School session on Lady Godiva's birthday voyage popped back in my head. The stubborn West Indian men were a tad annoying but I finally get the gist of what they were trying to say. It all basically came down to the fact that Jesus never really had to defend Himself in front of His accusers. He just let His actions speak for themselves. And I know she had that faith in me just in the way I have carried myself.

I hate when I realize I was wrong. But at least I'll be right next time