It Looks Like A Beautiful Morning

I woke up with the idea of going to church, but I wasn't exactly feeling the pull. I still was planning on going, but then I remembered that we are one of those technology forward churches and our service is online. Free of guilt and totally comfortable.

That revelation surely helped my disposition. With that knowledge, I ventured on a jaunt through my neighborhood. In the house, I was faithful and kept it with the gospel I am slowly rediscovering. On the walk, I fell to temptation and listened to my song of the week. And joy springs eternal.

Everyone seemed in a chipper mood. After such a messy day yesterday, the most appealing characteristics of autumn became evident. Young couples ferried around their children in bliss. Fathers actually spent time with their kids and lovingly interacted. At one point I expected one of those birds from Cinderella to sit upon my shoulder and start humming the hypnotic hook I had on repeat.

And I picked up a free poster and photo frame from the framing place that decided to be nice to its neighbors today. Plus I got an awesome card for my mom's upcoming birthday. There's no point to all this, but I figure after such a maudlin day yesterday, I should document my happiness.

Haze

I've written this posting at least seven times in my head today. But the haze is so thick round these parts, I think it has contributed to my apathy all day.

Whereas yesterday was mildly productive, today has been a lesson in slothfulness. I was hoping to continue the same pace so I could get some things done. It's not too much of a loss though. I still did manage to get the last couple loads of laundry in. Many blogs remain unwritten and files are still not where I'd like them to be on my computer. No big deal though.

As I was sitting on the porch, doing what people on porches do, my mind started to wander. I recently read an old blog posting post by this underground soul singer about the change in Catholic doctrine about children and limbo. I guess limbo as defined by the church is being in a state of complete contentedness but never having any communion with God. I started to wonder if I was in limbo, like if I'm having true communion with God. I mean He's been answering prayers left and right, but maybe it's to keep me close enough so that I can make that final dive into Him.

So I'm listening to the iPod and I ask God to speak to me through it. The whole uncertainty of where I'll be in the next couple of months is weighing heavier on me since it is actually June. The chill I once embodied is slowly evolving into panic. Here's the deal I made to God: If the next song was DC Talk = Washington, D.C.; Donnie McClurkin = N.Y.C.; Anyone else = Just wait on me idiot. I tried to get in some late Yolanda action in the brief pause between songs but I couldn't decide on another viable answer. The next selection? Take 6 (Take six months maybe? Weeks? Days?!!?). The song: You Don't Have To Be Afraid. That God has a sense of humor. And an ill sense of timing.

Living as the other half lives today, you know lazy Saturday, watching baseball and doing chores around the house, it's nice. This is the first Saturday I began in Massachusetts in over a month so it's nice not to be hustling and bustling. And I've also learned that I want to live like Run's House one day. And even I could not escape rooting for the bloody Red Sox.

Life's good. And being beautiful is hard work. But worth it.

In A Giving Mood

For some reason, I am in a very generous mood. It's not like I am some sort of miser on the regular. I think most people who regularly interact with me would say that I am a giving person. Today, though, I feel even more giving. There is too much to enjoy for me to keep it to myself. I honestly just want to share.

The good feeling one gets from giving is amazing. And I'm not talking about the ego boost from helping somebody else. In moderation, I guess that's fine, but there's just a natural good feeling linked with the act ogf giving, regardless if the act is appreciated or not. I honestly enjoy the times when I help out or give and the recipient is unaware of the help or at least the person who provided it. I do need to hear the appreciation every once in a while but too much makes me uncomfortable.

Why I am this way, I do not know. I shall sally forth however.

Chuuuch

That's the only way to describe the religious experience I had today. I totally forgot that it was Youth Week of Prayer (which is why my parents were somewhat miffed when I returned home last night). I already was going to church with something extra to praise God for but the environment heightened the experience exponentially.

For one we had a crazy band to accompany our praise team. This included my former music teacher who eventually became a musical director for gospel artists so you know it was on point. They even sang my current favorite gospel song which I had played all this morning (Hezekiah Walker - Faithful Is Our God). The youth choir was on point too.

But it was the sermon. The highly regarded son-in-law of our senior pastor was up to the plate and boy he delivered. My thumbs were never motionless because I was typing so many notes in my cell phone. Working out of Acts 12, this is the main stuff I took.

1) When your faith is awake, you can go to sleep. Me and mom looked at each other on that one. That is some power right there.

2) When God calls, you have to "arise quickly" so the chains will come off. Too often, stuff is leading us in a certain direction and we dawdle and miss out on things that were supposed to be ours. So when the spirit is moving, you have to get up. It's what Peter did in Acts 12 when the angel came to free him from prison.

It was truly a fulfilling service. I haven't been so juiced leaving church in a while.

The Breeze Is Blowing

ever flowing. Okay I'll stop rhyming.

It is a beautiful Sabbath day. I am blogging live from Hanson Place, though I am in Fitchburg. Thank You Lord for internet and streaming media. My former teacher and I thought future mother in law just sang during the service. Took me back. Feels good.

Before that and now again, I am playing my music over the more tedious parts of the service, though I want to take part in the hymns. But the announcements about the basketball team I could skip.

Oh she's singing again. "The Holy City" What a difficult song. Sometimes she overextends herself. She makes up for it in passion and sincerity though. And isn't that all that God asks? Passion, sincerity in our love for Him. It's all pretty simple.

Now back to your Sabbath rituals. And get off MySpace for goodness sakes.

What's Big And Red & Filled With Treasure

My church silly

Once again it was time to go back to the old stomping grounds because a) I love Jesus and b) it's always a great ego boost to see people who haven't seen you in a while and actually seem interested in your life.

I was treated with the sights of precocious toddlers and extraordinarily tactile babies playing with their respective guardians. I even received a lovely message on stewardship that the guest pastor pulled out of his hat because the audiovisual squad was having difficulties with his original Powerpoint presentation.

But the main point of church is the fellowship with the believers, or at least that's what I think Paul wanted us to do. Theoretically, Jesus should be personal so church just strengthens what you should already have, not exactly give it to you. And so I received it in spades. Definitely from my usual source of the clique of people we hang out with at church, a bunch of married couples and families that I grew up in. But I also got some extra love from the older brethren.

The first, Sister Jones, I saw on accident but it was a blessing nonetheless. As I sat and listened to her, she gave me a story about her son who had left the church for some time, but has since returned. It was more a cautionary tale but I appreciated it nonetheless. It's indicative of what Paul I think envisioned. Ideally, your church folk should help prop you up and encourage you on the straight and narrow and that's exactly what she did.

The next was someone affectionately known through the church as "Amen" Nelson, because for some time, she was the only one with the emphatic "Amen"s. Now older, upon seeing me she didn't even recognize me, but I guess my face has changed some and the facial hair can throw off someone who wasn't exactly looking at me all the time. So when she realized who I was she did nothing but hug me and continuously say "Such a pretty boy." More encouraging words followed and also when a cute young lady introduced herself to me in the midst of our conversation, she turned to me and said "Don't worry about them. The Lord will see you through."

Priceless.

So is church.