In Love

It's Coffee Bean. That's all that needs to be said

Moments of Clarity

The past couple of weeks I have experienced a heightened level of motivation and clarity. It seems that the climax I have been hoping for in my 24 years is finally on the horizon. It's scary and exciting all at the same time. I actually find myself writing down what I need to do and actually motivated to follow through with it.

By no means is the crystal ball without its fog. There is still a universe to be determined. But galazies are being indexed at an incredible rate. And I am extremely happy.

I Need To Find Something New

The title says it all. The mania hasn't totally subsided but I feel the sadness approaching so I need to find something new. That's it

Conosseiur Mountain University

So me and Bassline have seemed to discover that we are peas from the same pod. It all started at choir rehearsal on Friday and we were cracking jokes throughout. Then we went to go see our mutual friend Speks with another friend Sprak at Speks' new place. Then we sang in church and we copped some dinner. We watched a movie and then we helped another friend move in. Then we went shopping and ate with Speks. Needless to say I really saw the nigga for like 15 hours today.

Anyway he is an addition to my brother from another mother contingent. In the midst of our many conversations we came up with a new institution that will provide a top notch education: Conoisseur Mountain University. It is a place for people who have an open insight and truly enjoy and appreciate life.

More details to follow.

Patience Is A Marinade

So Coffee Bean and I went to Starbucks today and had a lovely extended conversation.

It occurred to me how important patience is to truly enjoy things in life. Delayed gratification is much more satisfying than the instant variety. Its like things taste better when you wait for it. I don't know. That's it.

Cosmic Energy Is Flowing !!!!

I don't know what it is about this week but everything seems to be going my way. I'm enjoying classes. I'm witty and engaging everywhere. Even work. It's hard to explain. Literally the color of the sky has me excited at times. It's euphoric. And fantastic. So the question is when will the mania end and the depression begin?

Best Staff Ever

So I was stationed down at the school today to be with some rambunctuous kids who basically had to serve detention. It didn't start out to well because one was already in a closed door time out room. Then when they brought the other one to me he was nowhere near happy that he would be staying back.

But somehow I got him into the area where he needed to be after he started flipping out at his teacher. And then when the boy who was in the time out started provoking him, I held him back from starting a fight. Then I used a sick Jedi Mind Trick where I talked about a nonsensical passage from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy to get him talking about what really happened.

Boy my neurons were firing today. And I did it under the pressure of having loads of teachers and other school staff watching me. My methods may be unorthodox but I am a genius.

Blessings

I just went to my first Singspiration (the Friday night worship service on campus) in a very long time. I was kind of dreading it because I was asked to do a poem, which I haven't done in an even longer time. Even as I was going I was forcing myself to take deep breaths because I was feeling butterflies.

But when I walked in I already felt like a spot in my heart was filled. One reason is because it is fricking brick outside and heat is always wonderful. But mostly because of the songs permeating the area. Even though that feeling was almost immediately wiped out when I was told I would be performing next, I somehow made it through.

My poem was well received, even though some of the material might have been dicey for a religious setting. I even had some random adult guy ask if I was an English major. That was touching. I didn't think the word play was so phenomenal. The best part though was that people seemed to get a blessing from it, which is all it should be. It was a poem about love and love in its purest is not self-serving but worried about others. I know what I wrote but all I want is it for it to reach someone.

Singing continued and that was great cause I haven't had the chance to harmonize and just sing my heart out in a group for a while either. It was really just an awesome experience. Now I have a vested interest to make the return trip each week.

It also got me thinking about all the blessings I have. I have shelter, food, and all those basic necessities. Plus I have awesome friends, awesome co-workers, and an awesome family. Even more amazing is that there are people who have no real profit to gain by helping me, but still stick their necks out for me regardless. That's really fantastic. All in all I have nothing to complain about. The Lord has truly blessed me.

These Are My Friends

A Text Message Conversation
February 10, 2006

Socrates: Y does the village voice have the best hiphop articles
Me: Cause unaffected white people have an untouched perspective and get thru bullshit easier
Socrates: True. I'm gonna make a punk magazine. Thanx
Me: Can i be a contributing editor?
Socrates: Wat the hell y not
Me: Sweet. I'm already working on an article on how green day has sold out
Socrates: Who??? and Sellout is just Slacker lingo 4 their parents
Me: True. I'm back to my research for a more apropros subject.
Socrates: GOOD your DEADLINE is February 31st

What Is It About Sharing?

As I look at all the MySpace and Facebook accounts, what is it about human nature that makes people want to share about themselves? Why are we so intent to find someone that is interested in our life's story? And why are we so interested in theirs?

Since we moved to our new program, our program director has done a kind of game where he reads some characteristics and favorites of some people so that they become more well known to the new set of co-workers. Even though I wasn't part of the first batch I immediately began to think about what some of my responses would be. And it was my focus for way more than I care to admit.

But still I consider myself a private person so why do I care if a bunch of relative strangers know what my favorite Michael Jackson song is (Stranger in Moscow btw)? But I'll let you know what you want to know about me. I mean look at this blog.

At least its something endearing about human nature, our desire to be known and accepted is still intact. Maybe togetherness can breathe

Sunday

About a month into my tenure at my current job, I decided to switch my schedule from Monday to Friday to a Sunday to Wednesday schedule. Now overall it makes more sense. I have three days off and I still get my 40 hours. Plus, it helps me in my schedule of classes and such. Currently it also means that I am not giving up my position due to the recent changes in staffing since the girl who took my position has to hand over like 8 hours now that she has to switch to an alternating schedule.

The biggest caveat has been the loss of my Sundays. Sundays have just been the ultimate of lazy days since I was a child. It consisted of endless streams of Nickelodeon and my Mom's brunch. As I grew older it was matinees and just sleeping. Now it is completely gone. Sunday as a block is great because there is truly no obligation to fulfill. No church, no school, and no work. Time to clean up a room or write a song or catch up on all those movies you've been missing.

Today I woke up before my alarm actually. But I just wasn't feeling working. So I called out for the first time in like two months and I couldn't have picked a better day. I've already done some homework I've been missing, made my room look marginally more presentable, and set up a schedule for the semester that I can hopefully stick with. Plus I slept in an extra 5 hours. The sun is shining and everything is copasetic and cool. Bonus: I've rediscovered music I totally forgot and it just makes my existence that much more livable.

So now I have a greater incentive to graduate. Cause I need to get a regular job so I can get my Sundays back.

That Blessed Day

Today is the Sabbath, a day I sadly have not taken much observance of quite recently. Like someone who does not know better, I have been using it to sleep in and do my own thing, which is pretty much nothing, which makes it even more sad since I couldn't even be productive. I digress. One of my goals for the year was to be more spiritually minded. That can't happen when it's February and the only reason I stepped in a church this year was for a funeral. Plus, my backpack is filled with a Bible and other assorted religious literature, but I never take the initiative and pull any of them out. Well as most know, music is the key to my soul. So I started with some of the Jesus music last night and have continued it until today and I honestly feel much better. There's a lot of crap going on in my life (a lot cause of my own doing) but I really don't care at this point cause I know that it will all settle down. There will be more challenges down the road but I'll be able to handle those too. So first step is to reclaim the Sabbath for what it is. Hopefully I make it through the day without succumbing to temptation.

Oooh That Feels Good

Yeah right there. It's just that my brain is working. It's not figuring out the best way to get a kid in a hold or what song should be next on a playlist. It's....it's....it's learning! Oh what a fantastic sensation. How did I forget it could be this good? Intellectual stimulation is so enthralling. I'm getting giddy over Genetics.