What The Hell Am I Doing?

When I am bold enough, I will write the blog I really want to all about how this summer has been kind of like a poor man's version of the Zach Braff coming of age movie. Part of that whole kick is actually trying to determine some sort of direction in my life. Of course, as I always have, I turn to tests to help me solve the issue. And the wonderful people at Similar Minds gave me this.

Career Inventory Test Results Extroversion 46% Emotional Stability 83% Orderliness 53% Altruism 90% Inquisitiveness 70% You are a Guide, possible professions include - career counselor, psychologist, educational consultant, special education teacher, librarian, artist, playwright, novelist/poet, editor/art director, information-graphics, designer, HRM manager, merchandise planner, environmental lawyer, marketer, job analyst, mental health counselor, dietitian/nutritionist, research, educational consultant, architects, interpreter/translator.

The scary part is that I kind of knew this already but confirmation from some arbitrary distant test that knows nothing about me is somehow comforting. Did I mention I am on vacation in Florida and this is how I chose to spend my time? So the title of the blog has added meaning? I've been avoiding true introspection for so long I might as well embrace any sort of motivated action I might take. Now what do I do with this information. I think I'll sign up for the GRE and flesh out some creative ideas like a TV pilot about a quirky coffeehouse and the novel Socrates has said I should write for some time.

By the way, I am also splitting time obsessing over the anonymous comment someone left on my smoking blog. It's just mean that someone would leave a possibly flirtatious signature (Come on: Eve for Adam) and not even leave a hint as to the identity. Oh its torture. The suppressed narcissist in me wants to explode at the frustration. An ego stroke that doesn't really exist.

I've Been Up To...

Going for a run.

Realizing I am in better shape than I thought I was.

Realizing I am also nowhere near where I would like to be.

Showering.

Eating.

Rocking in chairs while eating and consuming last week's Sports Illustrated

Conversing with Posh, though it was more me on a soapbox, about sports figures, Deval Patrick, and the little snippets of different songs we absolutely adore even if we don't really care about the rest of the song.

Typing this blog.

Figuring out creative ideas for my media blog that I have not paid attentionto in forever and nobody even really reads.

Realizing that few probably even read this.

Loving that anyone reads this at all.

Thinking about a cheeseburger.

Ending this now that we have totally hit a roadblock.

Breakthrough

So I'm listening to Rapper Big Pooh's "My Mind" for the umpteenth time since the sun set on another glorious Sabbath. Now I found the song just before the Sabbath hours descended upon us but whoa. Before I get into the beauty of the song and make this a post for my other blog (Wait, you haven't been?), let me get to the real point.

The dude that sings the hook is Darien Brockington. Now the only way I know him is that he sang some hooks for Little Brother, my current favorite group. He also had an EP that I got my hands on and also he just released an album late last year I haven't been able to touch. Anyway, he's got a couple joints I keep on repeat. His voice is cool. Nice vibe, nice lyrics.

Now listening to him, I'm loving his voice even more. But I'm also realizing that this guy just happened to get on because his college friends happened to be serious about the music thing and he had some talent to lend. Now he has an independently released album. He tours a little bit. Plus he has a bunch of MySpace friends. What is stopping me from living this lifestyle?

I usually have joked that I would love to be a background singer, but honestly could it be so bad? Even just hook singer. If I got to D-Brock's position I would be happy as a clam. What better way to spend youth? Then you take that experience and move on. Or add on to it. Who knows where it could go? So why not get serious about it? How much would it hurt to actually try?

That random call from a former co-worker to sing on her baby daddy's record doesn't sound so ludicrous all of a sudden.