Lucky Day

Bottom of the 12th inning at Shea Stadium, slowly emptied from its pretty full capacity due to the lateness of the hour. Our hometown team is down a run after a defensive misstep by the first baseman, and arguably the catcher. One of the young stars of the team, a speedy defensive wonder showing more and more promise on the offensive side of the game, is leading off the last set of chances the Mets have to win. This is the last chance at winning and the tension is thick. San Francisco has brought in their closer, a former Met who has since had a bit or a resurgence and is pretty reliable as a shutdown pitcher.

I hate my life.

So Reyes steps in the box and takes one pitch. Fast and outside. Next pitch was pretty much in the same location. Now for the uninformed, San Francisco has no interest in seeing Reyes get on base at any cost because he has stolen more bases than 16 teams in the Major Leagues. Yes he has stolen more bases than the combined totals of 16 whole teams. So we don't want a hit or a walk or him being hit by a pitch.

The count now two balls and no strikes. The pitch sails in and just misses the outside corner. Three and 0. Now on this pitch, you never swing. It wouldn't make sense logically to miss the pitch and get an unnecessary strike when you might have gotten the fourth ball. So it's a strike. But the tension is thick on 3-1. And he takes it and crouches. He turns slightly, as if he were headed to first, when he realizes it's a strike. Reset. Now he fouls off a pitch in desperation to stay in the box. Our closer, frazzled temporarily, has semed to regain his composure. And with it, he also has gained the upper hand.

Their eyes are steady on each of their targets. Pitcher to batter. Batter to pitcher. The signal set. He rolls into his windup. The ball seems crisp and direct when it leaves his fingers. The batter's eyes follow the ball sharply till we all hear the gut wrenching sound as the ball hits his mitt. He stays crouched in a position almost eye level with the ball and seems to see passed it. Passed the past, present, and future. Till the umpire stands calmly and directs him to first base.

And cheerily, he jogs to first base with fists pumping. And the Shea faithful rouse from their shackles of uncertainty. And they know. They feel it this night. And with their cries, the short circuited the axons and dendrites of Benitez. And though he received fortune with two outs, he lost his cool and balked not once, but twice. Which meant that young Reyes was afforded two bases he had earned only out of respect and fear of his potential to steal. Not for anything he actually did. Except be patient. He could have presumably spead away at an earlier pitch and stolen a base. Or he could have been called out and lost any chance of the rally that would result. For when he scored, Benitez unraveled further and gave up the game ending home run. Mets win. Mets win.

It makes sense today. The fact that they were on TV was wonderful news for an expatriate in Massachusetts and they won against a formidable opponent and continued to lead in a tough division. Despite missteps, they held it together and came through. The boy at work who shares my birthday said that since our birthday is the same (12/29) every 29th is like a lucky day.

Looking back it was a pretty great day. I actually got good sleep and was slightly productive. I felt proud of myself all day. I think the best word for it was spry. But I felt alert and good. Maybe it was the yogurt smoothie or Banana's excellent India.Arie selection in the ride to work. But I said a prayer as I went to pick up one of the kids and I guess God handled the rest. Explosive situations were kept to a minimum and the boys were good. Compassion and humor abounded for everyone and it felt just lovely.

Man I love the Mets.

I love my life.

The Children Need Some Regulation

As I was walking through the city, thoroughly enjoying my iPod on this scorcher of a day, I took in the many sights the city had to offer. Mainly, the many outfits people are sporting on this weekend, the unofficial start to summer. Of course, there must be some lattitude in how we judge people. Weather this year has been so scattershot, it's hard to get yourself into a groove you're comfortable with. I myself have been all over the place, where one day I planned to wear a seersucker jacket only to find long sleeves unbearable and vice versa.

But as I walked along Fulton Mall, one of the last shopping arenas that is mostly mnority and local, I saw one of the most atrocius outfits ever. In the blur, I made out a white skirt with multi colored polka dots, a tangerine tank top, and matching tangerine leggings. Yes. Yes I know. I would have taken a picture but I don't think that outfit should be committed to anyone's hard drive. It's already done damage ensconced in my memory.

And I know it's hot. And I know you're excited to wear all the clothes that you've been waiting to wear. But it doesn't mean you need them all at once. So she gets one of these.



Yeah that is a red card but man she deserved it. As the link points out, it is to show a penalty after a rules infraction and boy did she infract some rules. Beyond the embarassment, she made her clique look crazy and also hurt all of our eyes. She might be next up for execution like in Iraq. Well at least her fashion sense should be.

Ugggggggggggggh/Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesss

So today I decided to go get a cut. I'm really not used to having them every two weeks but I would love to get back in the habit. Though I've gotten better at self-maintenance, something about sitting in the chair and having someone else do the dirty work.

But it's Friday so already more likely to have a line and I knew it but I had an iPod. However, after I finaly answered the alarm and moseyed my way over to the shop in the soon to be blistering sun, the line was even longer. Even worse the two people that I would have gone to were nowhere in the building.

So off I was to another section of the neighborhood with more barbershops. In one shop only one barber and an Algonquin round table of people waiting to get in the chair. In the next, it seemed full and I was about to say screw it all. But then it would be a month for a cut. And I might see people this weekend that I might want to look nice for. Plus it's just nice to be clean and I really had no plans.

So there we are. Five black guys of disparate ages all eagerly anticipating the rising of one person from any one of the four chairs. In the interim, people came in to inquire how long the wait was and usually left with the promise that they would return. Some came in and seemed like they presumably skipped us already on the couches, but we were reassured that they had appointments or simply were there before and came back.

Finally after learning how to make pie with Rosie O'Donnell and almost learning how to cut hair myself with the attention I was giving some people, I made eye contact with one barber and he indicated I was next. Now someone was there before me, but I thought he told someone else he was waiting for a specific barber. So when I got up and in the chair, I had no problem. I was giddy as a schoolboy.

And he did me so nice. And used razors to shape me up without asking. It's honestly the most comfortable I felt. I actually was texting during the cut, something I don't think I've ever entertained. It was absolutely phenomenal.

When I left, another man got in the chair and the guy who was ahead of me got upset. But I left knowing that he saw my ass get up past him and in the chair and he didn't say jack so he needs to work that out.

Earphones in. Exit.

I look too clean to sweat the small stuff.

University of McDonald's

If the characters from McDonald's were to be at a university, what stereotypical roles would they play?

Here are my answers:

Ronald - Van Wilder class clown type. Very cheeky but very intelligent

Hamburglar - The too smart asshole

Birdie - Smart girl who drinks way too much on the weekends and has misguided notions of romance and life

Grimace - Pot head... duh (And isn't Patrick from SpongeBob a ripoff of Grimace)

Mayor McCheese - Alcoholic professor who missed his dream

Fry Kids - Frat guys or Sorority girls

McNugget Buddies - High school kids who came to visit but got way too trashed over the weekend. (See you in the fall)

Too much time on my hands or pure genius?

Yeah I decided. What do you think?

That's My Sister

Yeah she recognized the ringtone on my phone as BeBe & CeCe Winans - Heaven.

In like 4 seconds.

And it's her favorite song by them.

As it is mine.

Separated for 12 years and stuff like this keeps on happening.

Sorry kids. Fate doesn't win this time.

There is a God.

Things We Learned On The Ride Home

- I do not like the feel of old people's skin upon me, especially when they are asleep and the environment is producing a slight sheen on each of our skin

- Black people love barbecue sauce (including me)

- People can get aggravated by things that have absolutely no bearing on their lives whatsoever. And then get so worked up over it they speak on it, even though plausible resolutions will have no change to their lives whatsoever.

- People also have trouble letting things slide when the person saying such things has absolutely no bearing on their own lives and speaking back on it is a waste of time and energy.

- Having "una cara linda" is simply not enough to holla at a young lady. It's all about "presentacion."

- I do not get to wear my Betty Crocker T-Shirt often enough

WIWUTS: Special Tuesday Edition

One of our boys has been getting more comfortable and being as silly as he really would like to be. He has a penchant for saying the most random things. Sometimes they are inappropriate but most of the times they are totally hilarious. So Mocha and I are in the same wing staffing and he asks me why Jacob wrestled the angel in the Bible. This boy, who is sitting next to me on the stairs, with perfect timing says "Because he liked anchovies."

And that's why I woke up this Tuesday.

In Limbo

I currently am writing from Brooklyn after returning from DC. But Adam, shouldn't you be getting ready for work in Massachusetts. Alas you are right. But that cryptic post of appreciation yesterday came after a breakthrough, or breakdown, moment after I found out that I didn't have enough money in my account to make it back to Mass. Enough for New York though.

And so I begrudgingly called Mom and asked for help. And like a true Mom she said don't even worry about it, as she heard the strain in my voice she assured me that these things happen and that's why she's here. That's true and all but I hated it so much to even need to ask.

This weekend has been so enlightening on a level I couldn't have expected. Whereas I thought I would be gallivanting and just taking a break, the Lord used the time to help me realize some important things. Over the weekend, I lost the treasured necklace my favorite resident at work gave me, whose been discharged for about 2.5 months now. It was some plastic seashell looking thing with a red string going through it. It got me awkward gazes whenever it was in plain view. But I've worn it every day for so long, even when I didn't work, hence why I lost it when the club got too hot and I took off one of my undershirt. I told myself it was a good luck charm, but I know it's not true. Something of a security blanket I guess.

But it's gone now, probably sailing up the Anacostia River on some trash barge. I've been praying for faith and patience in the midst of having an uncertain future. I've also been praying that He uses me for His will and just lets me stay open to whatever that may be. I think it's time I left my current line of work. It's hard to say it even though I was planning on it. Before I think I looked at it as a necessity to go to law school. Now it is a necessity to preserve my sanity, and not because of the boys.

This weekend I realized how much I want life. I've been drifting this whole time. The only goal I've ever had was a happy family. But now I know I want more out of life. And not because my peers are getting jobs or advancing in their endeavors. I just want it for myself. And not fancy cars and amazing financial security, though they'd be nice. I just want to be productive and happy and contributing. This is the first time I've wanted something so big. Usually I want something and it's okay if it doesn't happen. I'm tired though. I want to move on with life so bad. Whether it be in New York or in Washington or wherever He might want to send me.
But I want it so so bad. I couldn't even tell you. I've been repeating it to myself, Mom, and Posh and it never hits home enough. I want it. Bad.

I'll spare you guys now and actually work on getting it.

In Appreciaion

Today I thank God for so much:

- His existence, amazing unconditional love, and never-ending blessings

- My mom, who understood so much without me uttering a word

- A good sense of direction and the ability to go it alone sometimes

- Posh for not cussing me out and understanding I needed to be alone

- The strength to ask for help

- People who believe in me

- Voicemail, which had me call back Testimony, whose conversation was the most unexpected and lovely of blessings

- The nation's capital for being here and being so great to be in

- Walter C. Pena Community Park, which plays host to a live soccer match, children who let a big stranger kick a ball around with them, and families with fathers who were thoroughly enjoying playing with their toddlers

- The MySpace bulletin where my childhood schoolmate admitted she was just learning how to ride a bike and broke her toe, showing it's never too late to try something

- The thought to actually ask the Starbucks barista for my favored item which was unlisted on the menu

- The pomegranate juice blend that resulted

- Because He's wonderful and He will bring me through

Just One Catalyst

I currently am posting from the beautiful Washington D.C. in the company of Posh and also Precious. It's been pretty fun thus far but something is starting to happen that is interesting and exciting all the time.

I love people.

Not a life changing statement. Something I've known for a while. I've told people that I would have been a sociology or anthropology major. But for some reason today, I am enjoying people even more. Maybe it's being so comfortable around Posh or just the general aura I am getting from the city. For some reason, I am approaching and interacting with strangers for no reason. Nothing too deep or too involved but it's lovely nonetheless.


So far, I have complimented a young lady on her funky but awesome hairstyle. I've also met T.O.P., a man who was dancing outside a car at the waterfront as he consumed crawfish. As we talked, I found that he was 85 (hence the look in the second pic), was in World War II, and has family throughout Brooklyn. His companion Sabrina also told me my new hat looked slick and that I seemed open to gay pride. So is Posh.


Anyway it's pretty fun and I need to figure out a way to maximize my interactions in a healthy fashion. Back to enjoy the people.

Woooooo

God is so awesome. I just feel it today.

It's been kind of a rough week. When I step back, things are overall great. But I guess there has been an unease all week. Even though I had a wonderful weekend, maybe its events have me thinking of things. Or actually wanting certain things to come true instead of just accepting what comes. And with wanting comes the threat of disappointment. And most definitely worry.

I just found out Northwestern has taken me off the wait list and deposited me amongst the hopeful and not the accepted. It hurts a bit. I was silently hopeful to go to a school with some more name recognition and the chance to be by my cousins would have been awesome. But the cousin thing we can fix by actually being proactive and planning and calling and visiting. And name recognition is nothing if you don't make the best of it. You can hustle that A anywhere.

I was upset. I think I am still slightly discouraged. I want to say fuck it all a little bit and be depressed and wallow in self-pity. But that's the coward's way out and I've been cowardly enough already. God is working in my favor. He does not want to see me fail. So He won't let me. I just need to keep believing. I'm praying He keeps my eyes open and my ears ready for what I should be doing in this life. I know He speaks to me. I know He does. I may sound like a raving lunatic but this is honestly how I feel. I believe in God.

I now get ready for work. The cherubs have actually been uplifting at points this week. Somewhat therapeutic. There's the Lord providing again. Off to shower.

Interesting Night

I just watched the lightning illuminate my room as if it was the sun. It's raining heavy now, but the moisture has kept the sun's heat trapped on earth which is making the air heavy. Even though the chance that I will get wet is high, my window still stays open for the random breeze that comes through that temporarily quells the slight discomfort. There was lightning again.

I still am enjoying the night. The warmth of the night plus the contrasting precipitation is very inviting. I wish I had a reason to go outside. For now I appreciate the thunder. And of course the music. I am currently in the midst of surveying random choices from my newer acquisitions. It's been a pretty enlightening day. For more information, I'm sure a posting will appear sooner rather than later regarding my choices. Know that it's been more pleasure than pain.

Currently the smoothness of J Dilla is contributing to my thoughts of the night. Our new boss had a theory that the waning moon had the whole campus in a frenzy.. In our hoouse my friend Testimony was bit in her hand and needed to go to the hospital. On her last day of work. Ever. Never had an injury before and has oneon her last day. We had to send staff to two other programs for stretches of the night. But it was still a good day. I feel as though I handled mine. I was proud of myself today.

So Fresh

This old man thing is, well, I'm not sure. Over the past two weeks I have been waking up earlier than I am used to. Than I would like to. And we're talking about really early. Like birds chirp and Adam awakes early.

Honestly, I think I want to go back to sleep. But I can't. But I end up eventually waking up and feeling quite fine. Like right now I feel very relaxed and refreshed. The fact that I am actually committing coherent thought to digital form for the first time in a couple of days should be saying something.

I'm also accompanied this morning by an inspired playlist. I feel as though my computer is slowly dying. Because of that the enormous requirements of iTunes have made it unusable for anything else when that program is running. So I had to switch to Winamp, which uses less memory but for which I don't have playlists. So instead of picking and choosing what I would like to listen to I have to click a folder that most match my moods and pray the shuffle treats me well. But it is actually kind of cool to listen to music this way. In iTunes, I'm so trained to find what I want. With such a broad selection in Winamp, I really can't be too particular. And now I'm exposed to music I've forgotten or completely overlooked. Pretty awesome. Today's folder is the Soulquarians & Tongues, the music that pretty much made me an ardent music fan in my adolescence which I still feel I am in the middle of.

The Mets won.

I saw some soccer highlights.

I'm going home today.

I'm seeing Spiderman 3 on IMAX tonight

I'm seeing two of my friends tonight.

My hair should be cut pretty soon.

Hopefully I'll see my sister soon.

I am loved.

It's gonna be a good day.

WIWUTS 5/06/07

I did not celebrate Cinco De Mayo with an officially sanctioned celebration, but today working, it sure felt like it. Most Saturday nights, I am quite awake. But I'm usually home and not expending energy so when I do got to bed at 1:30 or 2, it's really not that deep. Once I get past 10, I'm straight. Today though, I felt tired. Most times I can stave it off, but I was hurting. And so were my supervisor. And a former supervisor who came to help out since we had an open spot in the morning. It was a pretty good day though. We had acouple of incidents, including losing a kid for two minutes, but it was all pretty manageable. For once, we weren't scrambling at the end of the night to finish paperwork and chores. If the night shift was actually on time, we might have left early.

Today's justification is brought ot you by one of our most heartbreaking cases. He's a seven year old who operates at a toddler-preschool level cognitively. Cute as a button, but so troubled inside his head. Can't really stick with something for too long before he gets bored. He learns negative behaviors from his peers and replicates it without really understanding what's happening. No one can stay mad at him for too long. He's just helpless. At bedtime, someone usually has to be outside his doorway to make sure he does go to sleep or else he's up every 30 seconds running out and trying to see what's happening in the hallway. Of course since he is so young, he likes being tucked in from time to time. When I do it, I kind of wrap him so he resembles a taco or a wrap or something. So I've gotten in the practice of calling him "Chalupa."

Bedtime rolls around and tonight I have fallen in the role of making sure little Chalupa is asleep. First he's jumping on the bed, but once we got him an orange, he started to settle down. He peeked down the hallway one more time and then dove into bed. Faintly I heard "Would you tuck me in?" I walk in the room where he is chewing his blanket and he looks up at me and says, "Like a chalupa."

That's why I woke up this Sunday.

12:34 5/6/7

Yeah isn't that kind of trippy and cool?

Today

I saw my sister.

For the first time in over a decade.

The first meeting where we both were aware we were siblings (Seems the two or three times before she was unaware)

We spent 3 hours and 45 minutes in the restaurant, close to 60 without even realizing our food was not there.

She's mine. I'm hers.

The Lord is so wonderful.

Something I Learned Today

Do not drink two Rockstar Energy Drinks before going to bed for in fact your bedtime stay will be cut short immeasurably.

I know this because only 6.5 hours ago I decided to go in the opposite direction of my new knowledge. My desire to quench my thirst overwhelmed my common sense and I performed the deed. I actually fell asleep quite easily. It's just that was at 2:30 and I've been up since 6:30 a.m. And I mean UP.

So I've watched SportsCenter at 7. And I've eaten my Cinnamon Toast Crunch, which is a truly superior food.

Off to induce slumber.