Woooooo

God is so awesome. I just feel it today.

It's been kind of a rough week. When I step back, things are overall great. But I guess there has been an unease all week. Even though I had a wonderful weekend, maybe its events have me thinking of things. Or actually wanting certain things to come true instead of just accepting what comes. And with wanting comes the threat of disappointment. And most definitely worry.

I just found out Northwestern has taken me off the wait list and deposited me amongst the hopeful and not the accepted. It hurts a bit. I was silently hopeful to go to a school with some more name recognition and the chance to be by my cousins would have been awesome. But the cousin thing we can fix by actually being proactive and planning and calling and visiting. And name recognition is nothing if you don't make the best of it. You can hustle that A anywhere.

I was upset. I think I am still slightly discouraged. I want to say fuck it all a little bit and be depressed and wallow in self-pity. But that's the coward's way out and I've been cowardly enough already. God is working in my favor. He does not want to see me fail. So He won't let me. I just need to keep believing. I'm praying He keeps my eyes open and my ears ready for what I should be doing in this life. I know He speaks to me. I know He does. I may sound like a raving lunatic but this is honestly how I feel. I believe in God.

I now get ready for work. The cherubs have actually been uplifting at points this week. Somewhat therapeutic. There's the Lord providing again. Off to shower.