Did I Really Do That

So today was turning out to be the best double ever in the history of Perkins. The guy runnning shift was my newest friend and rhyme partner Displaced Albino (I'll come up with a better nickname later) and Banana had to work at our program cause her boys spent the night. We had some dance parties. We played some video games. Basically there were no major issues.

Until around 8:00 p.m. We had so many staff that I had chores done and stuff way before closing time. So it was a surprise to me that one of our boys walked himself into a time out room and shut himself in. I know he's bipolar but there was no noticeable trigger tonight. Now most times we leave him in there till he falls asleep and let the night awakes handle it. But he was banging his head on the door and I was feeling the vibrations all the way in the hallway. So with my excess energy I actually open the door on him and did an escort OUT of the room and was basically forcing him to stay in his room.

He was still kicking me and trying to get me off of him but I just kept talking to him wanting him to slow down. He is supposed to be moving to an older boys program on campus and I could tell that he was probably scared out of his mind and just acting out cause that's what my kids do when they're scared. I had to just leave him and sit in darkness for a while to catch my breath. Then I finally came back and walked him back into a room.

Gosh I was crying on the phone to Luna though I don't think she could tell. She definitely heard my frustration. And luckily I ran into a staff who was working and I asked how he was doing and he said that he talked it out and it was that he was scared and after I left he went straight to bed. So I know that what I did was unorthodox but it made me feel better that some good came of it. (We also stripped his room and found basically the house's media library in his room. Bipolar and a klepto. You gottta feel for the kid).

It's so taxing sometimes though. I'm not sure what keeps me going back. But I'll be there early tomorrow. God help me.