Even Though

"....the birds ain't singing and the sun ain't shining, it looks like a beautiful morning.

Each day's another chance to do the things I could've
Done the day before, but I didn't and I known I should've
So I say a prayer for the gone for gooders
Who left this world, then kiss my girl "good mornin', shuga"
Another sunrise, and as much as I would love
To roll over on you I cannot do it because
The good Lord I prayed to him
And he said, "People is listening now"
So I better have something to say to 'em

And if I had to go back, I wouldn't change a thing
Wouldn't re-cut it, re-edit, or change a frame'
Cause it would not be fair, to turn my back on the struggle
When that exact same hustle got me here"
- Phonte, Little Brother, "Beautiful Morning"

A little grandiose on the opening I know. I'm not a fan of blogs that are just lyrics. But that is how I feel this morning. I feel a new horizon upon me.

I woke up this morning late for the first of 4 mornings this week that I picked up at work. For three of those mornins I only stay till 9 to make sure the kids get to school. Today was one of those days. I realized I was late so I just threw on sweats. As I was walking through the door I just had the urge to run. Speaking with Luna I guess aroused my interest in voluntary exercise again. So I just started running. And it felt good. I mean real good. I surprised myself with my staying power, even up a hill I was dreading half a mile before I hit it. I didn't make it all the way to work without stopping. I really didn't expect too. But it gave me something to work toward I guess and I felt a whole lot more awake than if I had downed the energy drink I had planned to.

So I get to work and I find that I like the morning shift. I figured this out about a week ago when I picked up then. Something about the frantic pace to get everyone showered and changed and fed and in school on time kind of excites me. I think part of it is just that I have no idea what I am doing at that time. During my shift the routine is down to a T. I know all the roadblocks that might occur, what things to avoid and such. But in the morning, it's a crapshoot. you never know how a kid will wake up. You never know which kid will wet or anything. But you gotta make sure 15 boys are in school on time and it's like an adrenaline rush. And I got reaffirmed today in my own abilities. I'm not trying to toot my own horn but I am damn good at my job. It's nice to have your superiors say it but I don't need it. I know I can talk to those kids and get them to do what they need to be doing.

(Side note: While in a solution room today, one of my kids, a rotund 7-year-old was calling himself Eminem, reciting such hits as "Mocking Bird" and "Salt Shaker." It was fantastic and made me even more glad I woke up.)

And I am proud of the fact that I haven't collapsed yet considering my sleep was so little. I had planned on taking a nap upon my return but I realized that I probably wouldn't do what I should be getting done today. Plus this is just the thing I was talking about. There will be all nighters for the next three years and I won't always have the luxury of shutting myself down so I might as well start practicing. I think I'll run every day to work this week and see where it takes me.

I'm really excited about life right now.