Losing Sanity All Together (Or Me & 19 Jews)

Last night I was trying my hardest to stay awake. I didn't want to succumb to some crazy LSAT control over my habits. But even though I had six simultaneous IM conversations going on and I ate at 10:30 and was trying to watch Monday Night Football, my body wouldn't let me stay up. So by 11 I was in bed for the first time since I can't remember.

I think I woke up at 6:30 and never really went back to sleep. I finally arose from bed at around 7:30, threw some clothes on, jammed to some Game Theory and moseyed on out the door. I had already planned to walk over the Brooklyn Bridge to the test site to burn off nervous energy. What was so disconcerting was that I had no nervous energy to speak of. No rumblings in the stomach. No myriad of unrelated or related thoughts. Absolute blankness. I did not like it at all.

Just as I was coming to the end of the bridge, I started to think about my kids at work and all of a sudden I found myself in a silent scream of frustration at nothing. My nervous energy had arrived. I found my way to the testing room and pulled out my phone to turn it off when I realized I had a supportive message from Banana. It eased my mind. I replied back and then turned off the phone.

Surveying the surroundings I was surprised at my location. The first time I took the test, it was in a huge amphitheater with every Jew in Brooklyn. This day, it seemed I was the last one, the only black one, and it was just a regular classroom, occupancy capped out at 50. So nervous energy dissolving but now it's 8:40. 8:50. Umm excuse me, y'all said we had to be here no later than 8:30. What gives?

Finally the proctor comes in saying that they are trying to get the tests and that there was some trouble with the city transit so we'll be starting shortly. I walk around the corridors, reminding myself what a real college looks like. I come back, and turn the chair in front of me. Totally relaxed. I feel bad because as the minutes wane on, all my Jewish friends grow more anxious. They speak of their upcoming theses and plans for the future, but you can hear the tension in their voice. The thought of Can we just start the test permeates every word they speak, even "the." But I did some extra praying.

And I got so loose that I was thinking ahead to how funny this blog was going to be. Like I was going to talk about how Jewish I was from my name (Hebrew) to my beard. I even make corny jokes, enjoy baseball, and love a fresh smattering of lox (smoked salmon guys). I used to joke with my mom that I was going to be a Jewish All-Star (Lawyer-Doctor-Rabbi). I know it's racist or something but man, I was clever.

So finally Michael (best proctor ever) introduces himself, makes jokes, just puts everyone at ease. Tests are handed out. Bubbles are darkened. Pray one more time. And here we go.

And honestly the first half of the test I was good. I was taking my time. Like I could feel myself taking my time and I felt good. The break came after section three and this time my corridor walk was even more relaxed. I did stretches. Bounced around. Good times.

So the second half. I'm still zoning from before when wait up. No that's not the answer because I has to go before K. Or does it? So I actually go back and change/almost change 3 answers. It's okay cause I know that they're right but I still lost time. These are logic games and my problem is that I always get too immersed in figuring out every possibility. Basically psyching myself out. So I'm a bit flustered but I soldier on. Haven't even started the last part of the section when he says "5 minutes." So now it's double time. And the answers were coming quicker. Until the last two questions. "Pencils down."

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So the next section starts like right away but I'm still flustered over the misstep. And this section definitely counts while the last one might have been the experimental section they slip in every test. But I fail to realize that at that point and I am totally spacing. So for the first ocuple of questions, I'm freaking cause I'm getting like 3 answers in a row that are the same letter. Everything is just throwing me off. But I think I recovered. I hope I did.

I wrote rap lyrics after my section of the writing sample. And I left. And I turned my phone on and I had a supportive message pre-test from Luna and great news about my living situation by Banana. So I couldn't dwell on it too much. Plus the sun was shining and the people of New York are so damned beautiful I couldn't help but be chill.

So what's the aftermath? I haven't had a chance to make more of a deal about the possible negatives and I don't think I will. They were answers here or there. And I always have the 165 and most of the schools I've researched say they take the higher score. But we're not even getting that far. I'm more worried about relieving the neck pain I accumulated.

At least it's over. Law school applications here we come.