About 20 minutes ago, my post Sports Center siesta was broken up by my cell phone ring. Seeing that it was my good friend Testimony and knowing I wasn't that unconscious, I actually answered the call eschewing my recent no-morning phone call rule. We had talked extensively at work yesterday as I updated her on the changes to the whole organization. I thought maybe she had a follow up question of some sort.
Instead, she greeted me as Uncle Adam and proceeded to tell me that she is expecting. Already she is eight or nine weeks. Which is exactly around the time of her wedding, that I happened to pseudo-coordinate. In the midst of the success of "Knocked Up", has my generation taken the message to heart? Or am I just freaking out because I am getting to the age where people actually settle down and start having babies?
It seemed an anomaly to me when my former college roommate got married and had a child two years ago. When Principessa Bella had her son this year, almost a year to date from her marriage vows, it seemed like everyone in my age group was having babies. On my two trips to my aunt's church, I've been greeted with the sights of college friends who followed through with their sweethearts and have happy mini families or at least expecting them. And seeing my godsister's three babes was incredible when seven years ago, her wedding was the first time I felt like a grown-up.
Now Banana is becoming more open about her own pregnancy now that she is visibly showing. In October, she actually learns what sex the child will be. It just seems crazy to me that my peer circle is having children. These aren't family friends or random older children of church folk. People I had class with, sang in choir with, went to bars with, are reproducing! Have I really been denying that life has been going on around me this badly? Am I really this old? Should I be sad that I am in no position to have one now?
In a way I am sad. Or maybe disappointed. It would be nice to be settled and know that I was that secure in a relationship to actually bring life in this world. But lately I've come to realize that I am not that secure in myself so it is all for the best. Eventually I hope to ohave my own, but for now I'll practice honing my eye for baby clothes.
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Now playing: Black Star - Astronomy (8th Light)
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