Inertia

From the physcis course I took, I believe the idea of inertia is that pretty much everything is going to stay in the state its in unless an outside force does something to it. If you're moving one way, you'll keep going that way until something stops you or alters your course. And if you're not moving then you'll be as immobile as a rock, unless something pushes you along.

Today for some reason, I woke up at 9, even though I had gone to sleep at 4. I thought waking up at 10 was a stretch, but that's what I had set my alarm to since I had things I wanted to accomplish today. But I woke up and had boundless energy. I transcribed the RLS blog which I had written long hand while I stayed in the hotel and was without internet. I then bounced around and showered, continued to sing and dance as I completed my grooming rituals, and even had enough time to be vain in the mirror for a second.

As I soaked up my usual fix from my chemical dependency on the pavement, I felt a charge I haven't felt in a while. I felt good. I felt confident. And confidence is a drug that liberates oneself from inhibition. I was less subversive about my enjoyment of music and visibly mouthed words and bobbed my head. When I was walking, the observant would have seen that I was really dancing as much as possible. All this while I dropped off a photo of my grandfather to be reproduced and stopped off at four stores to shop. I was charming to the attendant in the department store. You could not stop me.

But then I went to drive golf balls because I finally felt inspired enough. And the confidence was still there. I asked for the clubs I wanted without hesitation and found my way to a slot. But then the confidence drained out of me. First my ball machine wasn't working. The nice elderly lady next to me helped me out and actually gave me her slot with free balls since she was a member. But then I just sucked. Its been a while since I picked up clubs. And I got all cerebral and upset at myself. Furthermore, I was starting to get tired as I walked to the golf club and I forgot to eat in my mania.

I left sad. I even discovered a bunch of shops I probably would love after i passed by the meat market, but I couldn't even get excited. My music didn't even bring me joy. And there is inertia. You couldn't stop me before in terms of confidence. But my disappointing play combined with my sleepiness changed all that. Confidence gone.

It got to the point where I was figuring out how I could afford private lessons so I could dominate the sport, which I've always thought was perfect for me. It's solitary and useful in climbing the social ladder. You get to spend loads of cash on equipment and everybody is always striving for perfection.

And it all quickly came back when I got on the train and a girl gave me the look over as we passed and actually turned her head to check me out as she walked away. Smirk returned. Head bobbing, though the sleepiness still kept me somewhat sedate.