Sometimes you forget that you pray for something and God gives it to you and you weren't expecting it. Like humility. And to be broken down to the point where you have no choice but to call on Him. I prayed for those things but I forgot I did and he sent me a heaping helping of them today. Tears have flowed freely today. And it's good.
Dr. Ninon Philogene Ameritl is a saint. A saint and a half. As she sits in anuncomfortable situation that I am the cause of, she pulls me aside and gives me words of encouragement when she can easily scream my head off. Does she have any personal investment to see me do well? Not at all. I burned her house, possibly broke her daughter's heart, and I haven't fixed their computer. But still but still she encourages me to free myself and learn of responsibility, strength, and power. Beautiful woman.
And my father. I am saddened that I once wrote that my goal in life was to not be like him. It was really immature and shortsighted and just plain ole stupid. Yes there are things that he does and says that I would not find myself comfortable performing. But the principles that guide him. The passion he has for the things he loves and cares about. And wow does he care. He can't come into the town of South Lancaster without his blood pressure rising cause he cares so much. And today in the face of a man who historically makes his blood boil he was respectful and cool. If I end up as half the man he is, I will be alright.
I want to clean. I want to sleep. I want to praise.
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
That's all it is.
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