The Third Wheel

So right now I am sitting on a couch in someone's campus apartment. The resident is currently alternating between webcam activities and bothering Bassline who is also here. Matter of fact, he's the reason I'm here in the first place.

I found him today, still physically hurting and we watched about 6 episodes of Chip 'N' Dale Rescue Rangers (which is an excellent show by the way). During our conversation, he revealed that his mother is enamored with the aforementioned resident, who happens to be a girl. A long time before his mother even realized she existed, he was attracted to her and she to him. But her forthright attempts were rebuffed for a myriad of reasons. Now those reasons have been mitigated or so he assures me.

But tonight he almost let her do his laundry. At the beginning of a possible courtship, especially one with maternal approval, touching of one's laundry can signify more than one wishes. Bassline finally overcame his laziness and agreed but as the identifier of the problem, I was volunteered to help defuse the situation.

So after I made up laundry to do and after an awkward 45 minutes in the laundromat, we find ourselves in this apartment. Bassline is cooking and she is doing her best to seem uninterested. She's failing miserably. But maybe she wasn't really trying at all.

I don't feel entirely uncomfortable. Even as I scribe away in my open phone I just feel like an audience at an off-broadway play (Thanks Jive Turkey for helping me realize the distinction).

Now they dance around each other with the silly banter reminiscent of a Jamaican version of When Harry Met Sally. This is fantastic.

Right now, he is accumulating an obscene amount of points because he is cooking. He is picking up even more because he is being himself throughout the whole ordeal. And that is a Jamaican. And that also is a jerk. And she's loving it. When they disagree over a cooking method, they give looks like they've known each other for a lifetime. Then he sings and she hums scales. It's absolutely delicious. (I didn't realize my voyeuristic tendencies until now) I don't know why I find this so entertaining, but it is absolutely wonderful.

Maybe I'll read this account at their wedding sometime.

There I go jumping the gun again.