The last 40 hours of my life have been totally odd. I have fell asleep on a training. Joked as I helped Coffee Bean out of her room. Been mad that Coffee Bean didn't seem all that grateful. Been giddy about jobs I found. Joked with Socrates. Had wonderful small talk with Coffee Bean. Made excellent jokes and felt totally comfortable with co-workers. But for the last 3 or 4 hours just sad. I don't know if it has to do with the rain. Or the realization that I hate my life. But I just want to cry right now.
I keep remembering what Discip said, about how depression is a rich person's disease. It's a silly statement but I understand where he's coming from. In my case it makes sense. I really have no reason to get depressed. Shelter? Check. Cash in the account? Check. Loving family? Check. Really nothing to complain about. The things I can complain about I can change or control so there's no big hubbub. It's all nonsense really.
Luckily though my aunt is online. And every time I interact with her I wonder why I don't talk to her more. She is really a cool person. She's actually making light of the fact that I burned my house down with my nasty habit. And still encouraging me. She's just awesome. And through her she's helped me maintain sanity enough to even write this.
Maybe it is just God sending me a lifesaver. He's great.
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