Are You Crying?

My eyes react to the slightest of breezes. If the breeze is sustained and at a velocity anywhere above normal, my eyes start to tear. When it's real wind, forget it. I can't get 7 steps without tears streaming down my face. And always the queries from the people that see me upon arriving at my destination. "Are you crying?"

I started to theorize that maybe they are all the tears that I should have cried in the past. I've never been a crier. A thrower. A swearer. A slammer of doors. But never tears. Even when they do come out, they are in small trickles, barely noticeable. Most times, when I am in an emotional state that many would cry in, my eyes get wet. But they have developed an amazing ability not to let those tears fall and somehow they recede into me again.

But that's why I think the wind brings them out. The human body can only hold so much. And whatever I've been putting it through, the wind helps bring out the tears I should have cried so many times. Like today, when I found out the past is something you can only ignore for so long. Eventually the things you did or didn't do can catch up to you until you deal with them.

So as I walk the streets of New York City, marveling at an industrious set of people who laid down cobblestone streets over a century ago, tears fall down my face. I'm not sure if I'm crying or not and I personally don't want to know. But I'll let the wind bring whatever it is out of me, and take it away to some other corner of the world where people can do something with it.