Today I vowed to give up something in honor of my grandmothers. I told them so. Then I realized that I don't believe that sort of thing because they're dead. And for a moment I wished I did believe that sort of thing.
Imagine the source of comfort one would receive if their dead ancestors could be conjured up with the touch of a cell phone. Or just a whisper in the air. That is such a warm and comforting thought. And I've been drawn to it for some time, with no reason whatsoever.
I think that belief in such things, at least for me, is based on the perceived insight into my personality and the possible guidance they may offer. If there's a personality test out there, pass it to me and I'll do it. Horoscopes, Chinese zodiac and the like are all like personality tests in their own ways. They supposedly offer insights into the personalities of the people that fit each profile. Furthermore, they offer road maps that will allegedly help you succeed. Genius!
As one can see from my links, I've put too much stock into these things. But the allure is almost undeniable. From careers to love, the offer blueprints for happiness. But the proposal I know is retarded. There is no chance that I am everything a Capricorn or Rooster represents. My best mate might be an Aries or a Dragon.
The best thing though would be to leave it in God's hands and just live. That possible blueprint is one I'll have to deny from now on
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