Sensing The Girth

It seems that America might actually be getting the hint that this is a country full of too fat people. One stereotypical attribute I took from my African-American experience is the fact that I love the girls that have shape, and I don't mind the triple thick milkshake as it were. But people, honestly, we're getting to the point where Fat Bastard is about to look like Fabio. (Does anyone remember him?)

Like I said though, hope seems to still be around. I mean arguably one of the biggest crazes of the past year has been the Atkins craze. I mean it's so powerful that some businesses are complaining that is why their profit margins have been shrinking as of late. They're rushing to make Atkins friendly menus. Even McDonald's got rid of the supersize option and now they have adult happy meals that even come with pedometers, presumably to count the steps from the garage to the television.

But we haven't gone far enough. I think that something needs to happen with the nutritional facts that are on most of our food products. Just like those silly pedometers, they're fantastic, but only if you know how to use it effectively. Which is the basic problem for most of the country. There is a lot of math involved in those things with it's percentages and serving sizes and most people just don't want to be bothered with homework when they just want to eat.

What I suggest is that packages of food be equipped with sensors that can gauge the state of health of the individual that picks it up. Then, according to its readings, it can advise if the product itself would be advisable to purchase. Example: Fat Bastard picks up a container of Chewy Chips Ahoy! but is advised "You should probably put that down and get a couple of rice cakes buddy." Wouldn't that be fantastic? And it would work for anorexics too. You know if someone too thin picked up some Low Fat Wheat Thins maybe it could say "Have you checked out the Chewy Chips Ahoy?"

These sensors would pretty much work for the extreme cases. The people who probably just need to exercise on a regular basis would not have to worry about being embarrassed by what the sensors said. And celebrities could even voice the sensors so it's not some obnoxious computer voice. If Oprah and Brad Pitt told you that you might want to try a different meal, wouldn't you trust them?