Is George W. Bush the Devil?

Or are Americans even stupider than the Founding Fathers originally thought? I ask this question now because news comes today that although Bush presently wallows in his lowest approval ratings of his Supreme Court appointment to the presidency, he still is in a statistical dead heat with Camelot 2004 candidate John Kerry. And if polls are like they have been in the past, he really is winning. Clinton was supposed to win in a land slide against Dole in '96 but technically he didn't even have a majority. Those darn things have always seemed to lean a bit liberal so let's just assume Bush is in the lead.

How can this be? The cakewalk that was supposed to be Iraq grows more and more harrowing as the weeks move on. The administration has committed to establishing a secure and stable democracy, admirable goals, but with the bedlam that currently swirls around the fertile crescent, when the hell is that gonna happen? One of W's comrades in the Senate even suggested that reinstituting the draft may be in order. The draft?!?!?!? There are no communists. There are no Axis powers. This shouldn't be happening. Isn't the reason we have the CIA and Navy Seals and Army Rangers and Green Berets to take care of the terrorists? Were all these Mission Impossible movies pure lies? I thought we could locate these losers with the touch of a button. Please believe I will be getting my Jamaican citizenship when I am back in New York City because I am too pretty to die.

And the way gas prices are I am baffled even further. Right now I live in a little town that has a little over 7,000 people. The town right next door has about 13,500. But in these idyllic little New England hamlets, gas has creeped over the $2.00 mark. Gas in the boonies is $2.00! I shudder to think what it's like in the cities. Now I know Americans like to drive so I thought that they would be pretty pissed that they have to shell out all this extra gas to move their SUV's across this great land of theirs. I mean even the convenience store owners are feeling the pinch.

Maybe Democrats are just too damn nice. The same article talks about the fact that 14% of the pollees had no opinion of Mr. Kerry. Maybe it's time to go back to the types of tactics that Lyndon Johnson used when he was trying to get elected. In an ad that aired once because it literally gave children nightmares, you just saw a mushroom cloud and a warning that if his opponent was elected that is what would happen. Maybe such drastic measures are unnecessary but something needs to happen. Like "If you want your child to die for a cause you care little about, vote for Bush," or "Bush's America: Empty gas tanks and empty cupboards for as many as possible."

I must commend the Bush team however. The makeup artist they hired to cover the horns is impeccable. I just wonder who gets to hold the pitch fork during press conferences.