Blessing In Disguise

When I was stupid enough to leave my CD player at my dorm's front desk unattended about two months ago, it was no surprise that it was stolen. It's funny that when it was stolen I really wasn't all that upset. My eyes watered up one time, just because my stupidness was appalling, but otherwise it didn't affect me that much. By the next day, I was pretty much placated by the whole incident. The fact that I had spent about $150 on it and that it was only three months old didn't bother me that much. As a matter of fact, I distinctly recall debating if I should take it with me right before I left it. There was some weird force telling me to leave it, even though I knew there was a distinct chance that I wouldn't be back for a considerable amount of time. And it disappeared. Luckily, my sanity did not tag along.

There have been blips in the radar, like choir trips, where I miss my personal jukebox. Overall, though, it has been surprisingly pleasant. As a matter of fact, not being plugged into music at all times has been beneficial. When I am taking those walks to the post office or to buy myself used DVD's at Blockbuster (come on 2 for $20), I have actually used my brain to think.

At first it was weird, you know having thoughts that weren't told to me or shown to me. Now that Tribe Called Quest and D'Angelo weren't dictating my thoughts about the black condition or cheating, my mind has started to explore it's own deep realm, which has always seemed scary to me. I'll be honest and say that the muck and mire outweigh the gumdrops and razzleberries, but it's been singularly great just because I knew they were my thoughts and not influenced by some outside medium. Plus I've reached a wonderful conclusion: Life doesn't totally suck.

I finally reached this lovely point on my way to get a sugar fix. As I saw an acquaintance's car roll by, affectionately dubbed the Candy Cane, I waved and laughed to myself about the car. I thought of riding in it and how you have to roll down the window and open the door from the outside to get out. I thought of all my experiences here in Massachusetts of just sitting in the cafeteria, Denny's, buses on choir trips, or sitting in someone's room and hanging out. I thought of watching Kids In The Hall reruns with my suitemates in Connecticut. I thought of wasting Saturdays watching VH1 marathons with my extended suitemates. At first I thought it was sad that those are some of my most treasured memories. But now I realize that it's fantastic that those are at the top of my list. I have had the opportunity to be in the presence of some very awesome people. Not because they had titles behind their names or would be getting them at some point, but just because that's who they are. And just chill. And be. No pretense. No obligations. Just be.

Even if life isn't like that at every point, at least those are the moments to look forward to at some point. I might not have some huge mansion or every movie that is on my ever growing wish list, but I'll always have those friends and the memories and the opportunity to make more memories. That makes life pretty sweet.