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This morning I awoke with a dilemma. I have done somewhat haphazard preparation for the LSAT, a test I deemed necessary to heighten my chances of favorable grad school matriculation. But there were logical reasons not to take it. I had just taken it last year, and that score was respectable. It was lower than my original, and even the original seemed like a valid test score in my preliminary research. But I am stubborn. I just knew if I just did the studying, I could test amazingly high. But what if I just had an off day and blew it? Then what?

It seemed the signs were telling me no. My advisor had advised against it in her first response. And just as I initially prayed for clarity, Posh let me know she felt the same way. I had just taken it. And she said her score was valid, and I had taken my original around the same time. Finally I decided on a sign to not take the test: if I had to initiate a restraint that required pink paperwork, I could not take the test. Our largest client (300 pounds) had an issue. He beat and kicked me to the point where I believe my shins are truuly shedding tears. But he was on the floor, and legally I could not put him in that special type of restraint. But then he did get in a position, and I would have been foolish to be that stubborn and hurt us both. I did the hold.

I channeled my stubbornness by testing my faith. One more sign to confirm the first one, like a modern day Gideon. If I get a text message by 8:00 p.m., then You want me to take the test. My inbox was free at 8:11 p.m. I am so not taking that test.

I might be cited as silly and superstitious. But I'm just a believer. I need to read more and truly get a true grasp of what I believe. But I believe in Him. And I love Him.