It's Actually 10 Months

About 20 minutes ago, my post Sports Center siesta was broken up by my cell phone ring. Seeing that it was my good friend Testimony and knowing I wasn't that unconscious, I actually answered the call eschewing my recent no-morning phone call rule. We had talked extensively at work yesterday as I updated her on the changes to the whole organization. I thought maybe she had a follow up question of some sort.

Instead, she greeted me as Uncle Adam and proceeded to tell me that she is expecting. Already she is eight or nine weeks. Which is exactly around the time of her wedding, that I happened to pseudo-coordinate. In the midst of the success of "Knocked Up", has my generation taken the message to heart? Or am I just freaking out because I am getting to the age where people actually settle down and start having babies?

It seemed an anomaly to me when my former college roommate got married and had a child two years ago. When Principessa Bella had her son this year, almost a year to date from her marriage vows, it seemed like everyone in my age group was having babies. On my two trips to my aunt's church, I've been greeted with the sights of college friends who followed through with their sweethearts and have happy mini families or at least expecting them. And seeing my godsister's three babes was incredible when seven years ago, her wedding was the first time I felt like a grown-up.

Now Banana is becoming more open about her own pregnancy now that she is visibly showing. In October, she actually learns what sex the child will be. It just seems crazy to me that my peer circle is having children. These aren't family friends or random older children of church folk. People I had class with, sang in choir with, went to bars with, are reproducing! Have I really been denying that life has been going on around me this badly? Am I really this old? Should I be sad that I am in no position to have one now?

In a way I am sad. Or maybe disappointed. It would be nice to be settled and know that I was that secure in a relationship to actually bring life in this world. But lately I've come to realize that I am not that secure in myself so it is all for the best. Eventually I hope to ohave my own, but for now I'll practice honing my eye for baby clothes.
----------------
Now playing: Black Star - Astronomy (8th Light)

The Child Whisperer

Today there were three interactions with my boys that are indicative of why I go to work.

The first was as I picked up one boy from our version of after school detention. He was in a chipper mood because he had done his consequence without an issue and was leaving on time. When I came he was trying to meditate with his fingers crossed. As we were walking back, I took a look at his homework and commented on how well his penmanship has progressed. He graciously said thank you and he also just commented on how bad it used to be but that he kept working on it. And then to add the cherry on top, he complimented one of his peers on how good his handwriting had become. Seeing humanity in a child is sometimes the only thing that saves humanity.

That same peer he commented is the subject of my second interaction. This boy is 7 going on 8, but really he is more like 3 or 4 tops. He was having a very erratic day and eventually I had to take him away from everyone just so he could truly settle. When he came out of it, we didn't immediately rejoin the community but we played the game of Sorry he pulled out. Of course there were no dice and all the pieces were not there, but he still went about the task of setting up the board and telling me what colors I was assigned. We played for 30 minutes with imaginative dice. We cupped our hands, shook them, and let them roll out on the board, calling out the number that only we saw in our heads. And that lasted for 30 minutes. Amazing.

The final interaction is the most moving one for me. One of our boys is 14 and smart. He is close to leaving but he keeps making silly little decisions that set him back. This night, he had a blowout because we wouldn't print a specific picture of Jessica Alba for him to sketch. This is the same one who I bought artwork from. After he almost got his friend in trouble and we almost escalated into a jawing match, we had a talk. I knew the window hitting wasn't about that silly picture. It was about the boy who keeps getting in his grill at school. The girlfriend he feels betrayed him. The home life that is not only below his expectations, but now is uncertain. Sometimes dysfunction is valuable just because of the perverse stability it can offer. But now that divorce seems imminent, the uncertainty makes him even more crazy. And there was school and other things, but just see the flood come out. Just to hear the worries. It felt good to hear him just admit it to himself. I was probably extra sentimental cause I had recently had the same venting experience with my mom around the same time last week. It was nice to know that he felt comfortable enough to have the rare explosion of emotion with me. And it just speaks to why I do what I do. It's really all about those kids. I live to see that progression in all its forms.

Just Hit Me

Moments ago, Posh called me informing me that she has recently been looking at her phone and catching 12:34 more and more often. She then proceeded to tell me that she was slightly tipsy and she was about to use the restroom. She promised to call me back, then promptly hung up. The call was less than a minute.

And just as quickly, she managed to send a text about friends not letting friends dial or text drunk.The item that just hit me is not the truth of this statement. Rather, the actual physical environment where this is all transpiring is the source of my sudden awareness. Why is there liquor at a baby shower?

Is it me or is it just a little suspect that there is actually booze at an event welcoming a new child into the world? The mom can't drink. Why should the baby be hearing clinking glasses? I mean maybe a afterparty for all the lasses relieved they are not yet experiencing the predicament as the celebrated. But at the actual shindig? It just doesn't sit right with me for some reason. Even if I allow for the light beer, wine, or even champagne, shouldn't the sisterhood keep one another from getting out of hand. Tis not the village I want raising my child.

Actually I think that's my old Adventist West Indian man gene speaking. Forget I said anything.

----------------
Now playing: Darien Brockington - Sacrifice (ft. Yahzarah)

Brand New Jones

Last night, I was talking to my new work buddy Secret Stripper (This name will probably be temporary until I know her better). Anyway, we got onto talking about how great it is to wear special clothes, but how few the opportunities are to appropriately don them. She is getting to wear something for her birthday celebration this weekend but there were at least two other items she wanted a chance to wear, including a black cocktail dress.

I say this because my aunt's text messsage has disrupted my sefl-centered plans. She invited me to church and something about a family invitation to church is something I could not deny. Not only do I feel like it would be bad spiritual karma, but also the questions from the fam would escalate to serious levels of suspicion. Best to avoid the headache. I immediately had a crisis cause all my dress clothes are in New York. Then I remembered I did have some khakis and a pair of brown dress shoes I never wear.

Then fashion man went into overdrive. First I was trying to figure out the perfect shirt since I don't like wearing ties without blazers. I had settled on a striped one to offer some summer color. Then I remembered I had a seersucker blazer I had been dying to wear since last year. And now I am going crazy cause I think I found the perfect tie to go with it all.

What is it about the "outfit" that makes every one feel so great? Is it just that the clothes are new or special? Or is it the fact that we know we have spent the time to look our best and feel that way? It's definitely a spirit lifter. Now to see if the outfit actually makes sense.