You've Gone Too Far

So I was in Barnes & Noble today looking for some philosophy by Baruch Spinoza. Sadly philosophy is only worthy of three bookcases at B & N and as I rounded the corner hoping to find another one, I stumbled upon the astrology section, which has the same two bookcase apportionment. As much as I have tried to cut the readings of the stars out of my life, the appeal of insight into one's personality and guidance for life decisions is to delicious to ignore. I know that the claims are silly. If they're all looking at the same stars, why is there an infinite number of interpretations?

For pure entertainment value, I decided to debunk the theories once and for all. For some reason, according to my birthday, my color is silvery white and my animal is the dolphin. The dolphin? How do they even come up with this stuff? So here are a couple of my personality traits according to my birthday: interesting (vague maybe?), communicative, commanding, self-unaware (that might be true), undiplomatic (my life is completely about being a diplomat. How much ass have I passed up because I was diplomatic?), great voice (no complaints on that one), low key humor (me to a t), likes positions supporting but close to power (yeah), life enjoyer (chyeah), campaigner, charming, appear attractive, vain (sometimes), luxurious, sensitive, self-indulgent, intuitive, regonizes life patterns in others, sadness & melancholy, feels love deeply (so true), cynical (also true).

Hmmm interesting huh. So as you can see I found myself in agreement with most. So I found another book that offered forecasts for the year 2006 and I copied down the July predictions. We'll be tracking this for the month to see how things turn out.

July 2006 for Capricorns:
A refresher
In June, serious challenges were met. Now is a time to review, reconsider, and recommit
2: Count the chickens (Whatever that means?)
4th - 28th: Relationship issues of last month will be addressed and loose ends will be tied up. The focus is on interpersonal communication and love
10: Super Nova Day - Feelings come to fruition
18: Good Day for romance, yet it is also a day I should keep thoughts to myself
22: Focused
24: Out of depression, More playful (Wait they didn't tell me when I was going into depression. Is that the feeling fruition day?)

So we'll track and finally when all these predictions are proved wrong, I will be free from my dependence on balls of gas light years away

Martine Martine

Me and the cleaning lady in the dorm have never gotten along well. I don't know if one day I unconsciously stepped in something that she just mopped or I was just a general untrusted nuisance. Maybe it was because I stole a wet floor sign once or twice. Anyway, we always have a chilly reception whenever we pass each other in the halls.

But today as I watched the World Cup in the lounge she offered me some of the lunch she cooked. And since that point she's been friendly and saying hi and such. I just thought it was worth mentioning. Every time I think I'm the best person on earth, God keeps sending me examples to remind me that I put my pants on one leg at a time.

Thanks Martine

Wedding Season

So here I am at what constitutes an undesirable inevitably of my life. Despite my attempted hermit style living, I have amazingly cultivated friendships with people who like the idea of getting married. I personally am cool with the idea but the fact that they are my age - or in today's case, younger - leaves me disconcerted. There are a plethora of reasons.

One is that it seems like a pretty young age. There is still so much to accomplish. But what troubles me more is that I feel as though I might be a failure. Why did these people find their ones so quickly? Is there some step that I overlooked, some function I did not undertake.

Being the son of a wedding planner doesn't help things in the situation either because I get hypercritical when I should be enjoying. We started 45 minutes late and the wedding pedigree is starting to show up. Like why is the matron of honor snapping gum? Why is the alleged coordinator emceeing the processional? In their youthful haste, certain things have been overlooked.

But its cute when the junior groom chases after mommy, the matron of honor. The flower girl stops a quarter of the way and gets ultra focused on her task. And there's the bride, blushing and beautiful.

For a moment, as her contemporaries try to hide tears, it makes me long for my own special day.

Frickin A

So today I'm back in that manic area that has been more prevalent in recent weeks. Yes it was me dancing and shaking and pantomiming lyrics in the mirror. Yes it was me doing silent screams and singing Moon River on my way to pick up my fish and chips. I had an awesome return to work yesterday, even though I did spend a considerable amount of time holed up with four boys after dinner but that even proved less problematic than usual. My verbal and physical skills were found intact, which was very gratifying. I wasn't even out of breath like I have been more lately.

Anyhow, I have been backsliding as of late, reveling in things that are not exactly the most savory. But today, I finally smacked myself up the proverbial head and cracked open the Good Book. Today He led me to Daniel and I read about the astuteness of the young Jewish nobles in the face of amazing pressure. I hope I can be as solid in my moral gorunding one day. RIght now I just have to thank God for giving me another chance even though so many of my actions just encourage distance. And He is so awesome. So very very awesome. In ways I can't even begin to fathom

CMU Recruit: A Train

This dude just came on the train slinging bootleg DVDs. That's not the amazing thing. He had a sick marketing pitch, talking about the quality of the picture. He restated the cut-rate pricing. And the hustler cherry on top: the nigga broke down his pitch in Espanol after he kicked the English version. When I heard "Tengo las peliculas" it was a wrap. And for that he needs to be recruited to CMU

Hustle That A

Ducky & The Camel

So as one of my ongoing traditions, I often meet up with Nitro (affectionate called Ducky by our friend Camel) for expeditions in the city. Usually this involves dinner and some show, though sometimes we just do the meal. So here I am with a week of vacation and Nitro is actually hustling in the city for her summer assignment. But then Camel has just quit her job and has oodles of time to spare. Group expedition.

More explanation: Nitro and Camel were suitemates of my former girlfriend. Amazingly after all the smoke cleared, they were still my friends. Crazy how that maturity thing works.

So since Camel had more time, we met up down in Greenwich Village and just browsed around the Strand and its endless parade of books. It was great surveying the books on each aisle and just joshing and being silly like those marathon sessions back in their room. We even found this crazy Kama Sutra book that I had to purchase.

Next we headed uptown and met up with our little lawyer Nitro and had dinner at some Italian place around her job. That was pretty great too. I must say its just nice sometime to go out and have fun and have cool mature conversation with people who can work on your level. Its rare in life but I've been blessed with more than one set of friends that I am capable of doing that with.

Anyway, we went and got some ice cream (no one told me about Cold Stone) and then me and Nitro went to see a production of Macbeth at Shakespeare in the Park (cool experience; performance was kind of flat)

Anyway fun day that not one could complain about. One more way my adventure continues.

Aja Gave Me A Hug

I had qualms about buying tickets to this concert. I don't know why. Because by the end I wondered if $15 could be spent so well again.

So it was with some worry that I came to S.O.B.s tonight. I knew that there would be a large single African-American female contingent that would simultaneously excite and depress me. The exciting part is easy. Black women are fine and when you know that they are doing their thing and have disposable income, that makes them all the more attractive. But it is depressing because honestly there is no one to share it with. Black women fight to the death for their black men but suitable candidates are rare. Even if you meet the brother without a criminal record or children, the odds that their ambitions and education match up are very unlikely. So once again there were seas of girlfriends but a sparse sprinkling of brothers. Hence why I received so many looks throughout the night. (Plus the fact that I got the sickest shapeup ever and some have told me I am fine).

Kindred the Family Soul consists of Aja Graydon and Fatin Dantzler, a married couple. My own generation's Ashford & Simpson. Backed by a wonderful band, they tore down the club formerly known as S.O.B.s. They effortless weaved from music from their own releases to old school classics that my slightly middle-aged crowd could appreciate. Best of all I got a hug from Aja (good post title huh?) and a pound from Fatin.

What I learned most is something the leaders of my church have been trying to pound in the young people's heads forever: Music is a powerful thing. I left there wanting to hug the world. Let's be honest. I was ready to make love. As I left, one of the women I had made eye contact with throughout the night gave me an extended glance outside. I'm pretty sure I could have headed in a cab with her and had a nightcap and my cap knighted. But we're trying this celibacy thing though. Honestly, Osama and Dubya could have walked into that concert and came out hugging. And look I was SERIOUSLY tempted to fornicate with someone I had just met. Such power in the music.

Plus Aja gave me a hug. What a woman!

Heads Down

Something else I noticed in my studies of people's walking. Many men and women seem to like walking with their heads down. What purpose does this serve? There are millions of pedestrians in the city so why wouldn't you look up to avoid some unfortunate collision. Furthermore, how much are you missing by keeping your eyes fixed on pavement? The love of your life might be around the corner. Maybe not but there's this naked cowboy in Times Square your definitely missing. Craning your neck upward won't hurt. Maybe at first but it really is more comfortable and advantageous.

Skype Skype Skype

I had heard about this little invention a while ago but wasn't exactly rushing to use it because a) it seemed like work I didn't need to do and b) no one to share it with. Alas, back into my life sails Ms. Lady Godiva, long away but thankfully returned. She is currently stationed in Korea doing a missionary stint teaching English to the well, not poor but when you don't know English how rich can you be? So she was like we could Skype and she was sadly disappointed that I could not.

So bleeding heart that I am, I downloaded the program and I went to Circuit City to pick up some headphones with a mic so I could participate and at least make someone happy. Lo and behold it made 2 people happy. Here she miles upon miles away. And we're talking with pretty clear reception (slight delay but when it's free who's complaining). This is just a fantastic invention.

Anyway I was up until the wee hours of the night having the most wonderful conversation with one of the most wonderful people there is. Add my name to the testimonial list for Skype. I'm even going to use it as a verb from now on.

TSOP

Umm this white soccer announcer just made reference to The Sound of Philadelphia who for the unitiated was a soul movement in the 1970's. Did it in a rather nonchalant way too. So where do I archive this under signs of the impending Apocalypse?

Walking: The Underappreciated Art

Now I have spent some extensive time in the city over the past couple of days and now that I am acclimated to a level that I am comfortable with I can speak at length about what I've noticed: Walking is an art form that is very overlooked .

Oh young ladies of the city. Here my cry. I am totally in favor of your short skirts and the crazy heels that you would like to wear with them to enhance your profile. However if you cannot walk in the heels correctly, please you hurt yourself more than you harm. Literally, a walk can make a man look. Some women walk so well that they really aren't exhibiting that much but the crispness, sass, and some intangible quality all combine to make her attractive, at least for the moment.

If I knew how to teach it I would. Even that dude on Top Model seems to have issues and he's a professional. But really maybe in the next No Child Left Behind Act some block grant money can be set aside for walking classes for young ladies. It's getting to the level where its a threat to national security. One of our main exports in America has been the presumed quality of hotness. Are we gonna lose that edge to Eastern Europe.

I say no. Join the battle people. A war is waging.

Whoa Nellie

So I just happened to be searching for the latest and greatest by this artist named Nellie McKay. Now Nellie McKay is hard to characterize. Mostly she would be under the definition of jazz, but that is because she plays cabaret style records behind a piano. However her content is not usually what one would consider cabaret fare. It's political, cynical, and everything else in between and all behind a voice that would have fit perfectly into the Doris Day mold. So it was my pleasure to find that she was doing a series of club appearances that coincided with Adam Carnegie Culture Week. Much to my mother's lament, I left the house at 10:30 p.m. last night to go to her late night show.

She was late because she had gone to the Tonys, since she has been doing a musical in the city (The Threepenny Opera). And from the jump she was charming and witty, everything her music says about her and more. In the midst of reviving old standards, some of the material from her first album, and a touch or two from an unreleased sophomore set, she touched on the stupidity of critics, her visit to the trial of some crusader she supported and her distaste for the people at her former record label, Sony. She did all this in a beautiful vintage golden gown and her wonderfully Veronica Lake styled blonde mane. Can you tell I'm in love?

It must be serious when this porcelain figure sings songs with couplets that include head/dead. run/gun, and so on and so forth. Anyway. It was a phenomenal experience and now I am off to see if I can find some bootlegged material. Hooray for me!

Ben & Hovah

If there's one thing you can guarantee about the city of New York, it's the fact that you are never more than one experience away from meeting a very interesting person. Today I met two.

The first occurred on the train. I was headed up to D-Block to say what up to Coffee Bean and I had my chess set and a gift of flowers for her mother. A balding white man (who I later learned was Puerto Rican) took notice and talked to me about the chess, which led to a discussion of the flowers and who they were for. By the end, he was giving me tips as he hit on women of all ages and offered to hook me up with brunch at his dining establishment somewhere in the village. We also share the same alma mater of Bronx Science. He did encourage my chess skills and also my outlook on life.

The next experience occurred as I ascended the stairs to the train to go home. This time the individual who went by the name of Jehovah (I kid you not). As he untangled his bike, this black man with the scraggly beard was giving me tips on chess and life, offering an example that involved looking at the traffic lights 3 blocks down as metaphor for approaching a chess match, and subsequently life. We traded pounds and I felt wonderfully fulfilled. I have no idea why.

Life seems so ripe right now.

Save The Rhinos Ninja!!!!!!!!

Another night, another concert in the city. Tonight I was at Rumsey Playfield in Central Park, home of Summerstage and in summers past, my second home. Usually it's free, but today was my first paid concert cause it was a benefit to Save The Rhinos. I didn't even know the rhinos needed saving but whatever brings Common, Rakim, Lupe Fiasco, and Rhymefest all on one bill and I'll save the meat packing industry.

I was gonna do the running commentary again but it takes too much discipline. Once again the white boys and conscious b-girls abound in numbers and there were a couple of crazy fans including the Connecticut bred prepster who tried to climb the fence (WTF?). Today's pre-music was especially awesome but that's because the DJ had a common theme: J Dilla. Man he was hitting the hits and the obscure tracks with amazing seamlessness. Even when he cut tracks short, he cut off my moans with another tasty treat. Of course Mister Cee showed up and wrecked all that, jacking up the name of the concert and basically killing the vibe.

So thank heavens when Rhymefest arrived. Its obvious that the man loves to perform and he exploded over some Jay-Z beats. Even though he has a lisp, the man has an adept flow and when I actually slowed down and listened to the lyrics he was killing them even more. I was glad I was in the front to get an album sampler, though I'll probably just get the darn thing anyway.

Chicago battery mate Lupe Fiasco was up next. I must say at first I wasn't particularly enthralled. He had mic issues and seemed to reticient with the crowd. There is no doubt the kid has skills though. And by the end of his set, which included the song that makes me want to skateboard "Kick Push" he had garnered the audience's attention and didn't seem to spoil his new found fortune. His hypeman saved him a lot of the time. The dude was pure energy and funny too. The one time I've seen a hypeman be necessary to the success of the acutual performer.

Next up is DJ Z-Trip out of Cali. Never heard of him before but the fact that he started his set with "Hey Jude" by the Beatles makes me want to hear him again. He said he wanted to go on a musical journey and that's exactly what he did. Kurtis Blow, Superfly, Jackson 5 and a whole lot of others. Experimental but I appreciate it.

Kid Capri had to jack it all up though. First his levels were to high so everyone was scared shitless (snaps rubber band) for about a minute. Then it was the usual city DJ posturing that hides their inadequacies for actualy keeping a crowd engaged.

Finally he moved over and started to do his DJ thing for the man himself, Rakim. Let's just get this out the way about Rakim. This dude looks like he was at the corner bodega this morning and politicking with cats outside as he smoked a loosey. Then I remembered that he has to be nearing 40 if he hasn't cleared the benchmark already. Throughout his set he makes use of the chair that is on the stage as often as possible. He might be rap's first grandpa. Even Kool Herc seems to have more energy than this dude and he has got to be at least a decade older. Styles P came out of nowhere and provided middle relief as he did "Get High" and "Locked Up." The Microphone Master did keep the crowd hype though. But honestly it was probably more because of shared enthusiasm over his old stuff, nothing that he was specifically bringing to the table. Like Kane was honestly in everything. Like you didn't have to know his stuff to get seduced by his sleepy eyed ebullience. But he rocked it. No need to dissect it much more.

Finally the main event. I must say that one of the best things I took from Yale was from the English class I got kicked out of because of plagiarism. Our teacher laid down a template in order to produce a good paper: Assertion, Explanation and some other word but basically meaning to tie it all back to the original grand assertion or thesis. This is an excellent way to go about papers because if you follow the template, everything should make sense and you should get A's. Why did I do all this? Because I am going to make a grand assertion: Common is the best performer in hip-hop today.

Before I even get to explaining, I will say that I am still hedging on this subject. I have seen Jay-Z and that dude just pulls you in. It's like you're getting rocked but he's having the most genial conversation with you. Even at Radio City he had everyone in a frenzy. But Common is pure energy. At the Roots show at Radio City last month, you might have thought that it was his party. He moved all over the stage and just had everyone in a frenzy. This time, he had his own band, which included producer-extraordinaire Karriem Riggins on drums and the incredible DJ Dummy on the wheels of steel. But his show is a non-stop treat. The beauty of it is is how accessible he makes it. The musicality of it, combined with his energy, would even engage people who are not fans of hip-hop. He did the love songs, the hard driving songs, the political songs. Case in point, he previewed a new track which is usually where you lose a crowd because they don't know the words to it. Not Common. It had almost as much energy as "Go" which preceded it. By the end of it he had freestyled amazingly (when does he not?) to "New York Shit" and outshined Rakim. He also knocked over a part of the drum kit just like one of those classic rock stars. Common is the reason why people should want to go to concerts, to get something that can never be contained on a compact disc or even a DVD. I and a whole lot of people left there with pure energy. I was tired and my feet hurt but I felt like I could climb Mount Everest.

All in all an enjoyable experience. Adam Carnegie Culture Week is off to a rousing start.

Central Park

After my concert tonight, I decided to take an extra long walk to leave Central Park and remembered why I loved to walk through it so often during my high school years. I walked through the popular fountain and over the bridge that has been the backdrop for so many movie scenes. But I got kind of lost and just when I was frustrated I turned around and saw one of the most beautiful scenes. The lights of Central Park South & West converged to reflect on the pond and it was just breathtaking. For a moment I understood what that weird boy in American Beauty was talking about. It was just awesome. I wished I was with someone but at least I experienced it.

Gotham

This city is so amazing I'm trying to figure out why I've tried to stay away from it for so long. Today I walked over the bridge. How is it that I saw someone from the bridge walking in the opposite direction about 45 minutes later on the same train I was taking to my concert? It's so large yet we're all connected. The electricity is amazing and there's always something to do. And it's my home!!!!!!!!!!

6-06-06

Yeah that was fun wasn't it?

How Good Was My Day

I was wearing my shirt in the reverse position for like 3 hours and no one called me on it.

No holds, no issues at work and we were basically having a dance party to throwback R & B from the 90s

And I'm not tired and I have no homework.

Yeah yeah yeah

Great Day

When skies were dark
Came Noah's Ark
Amen
When lions roared
Came Daniel's den
Amen
God bless those who pray
And on judgment day
If you believe ye will receive
Amen

When you're down and out
Lift up your head and shout
It's gonna be a great day
Angels in the sky
Promise that bye and bye
There's gonna be a great day
Gabriel will warn
Some early morn
You'll hear his horn rootin' tootin'
It's not far away
Hold up your head and say
There's gonna be a great day
- Sarah Vaughan "Great Day"

The Lord answers prayers before you even pray them. I saw my landlord, my father, and my pastor in the space of an hour and with each experience I had to thank Him. Dad was in good spirits. Pastor prayed an awesome prayer. Plus I saw my grandfather which is always a blessing. And the cherry that started the day was that I got an unexpected call from none other than Coffee Bean.

No matter how tired you may feel. How discouraged and unsure you can get man oh man Jesus can still come through. You just gotta believe. Maybe that's why I'm a Mets fan since we share the same motto.

Whooooooooooooooo! Great Day!

God Is Like So Awesome

So in the past hour I have had a financial awakening that has left me even more broke than I originally thought. Furthermore, I can't seem to find important papers that are essential for life in America. And I just found out that one of the positions that I applied for has already been filled.

But oddly enough before any of it ever happened "Count It All Joy" by BeBe & CeCe Winans was in my head. That little tune was something that just helped me not do major flips on the main street of this little hamlet. Instead of busting a vein, I thought calmly. Yes I am not in the best circumstances but I'm also not in the worst. Plus it teaches me to be more frugal and aware of my situation.

God keeps on keeping me. I don't know why but I'm sure glad for Him. Thank you God.

N File: Rainer Maria - Catastrophe Keeps Us Together

This one has been especially gnawing on me as I scrolled through my smart playlists. I remember that I originally read an article about them in the New York Times by Kelefa Sanneh, a writer I respect who has very interesting angles on music.

Anyway I picked up the disc and finally pressed play and I was blown back by some very driving guitars. Then this girl starts singing oh so melodically over this super driving track. I felt like I was at an arena concert. And I wanted to jump around. My head was nodding all over the place. Turns out it was the title track. The next one "Life of Leisure" was even better than the first. These guys can rock.

The energy goes down a bit for the rest of the record but its all enjoyable. The girl sounds like a more mature version of Avril Lavigne, in style and content. Like she draws out notes instead of chopping them up. But definitely replayable. Now I gotta find out what their name means

Cinema N: Baise-Moi

In the spirit of the N Files, I figured I'd put some attention into all the DVD's in my collection that I have had scant time to watch them.

So the first one up is Baise-Moi. It's a French film and the one of the press clippings on the back cover called it a "Thelma & Louise with real penetration." Appealing. When I saw it in the store I remembered reading about it vaguely. I like European films. I like European action films because they have more heart and better plotlines than their American counterparts. What's the harm? So I bought it.

Oh
My
Goodness

That press clipping should have said Thelma & Louise with real penetration and directed by Quentin Tarantino. These girls are violent. They clip almost anyone for no particular reason. Yes one was raped and the other was a hooker and they've both had it. But it was like someone flipped the killing switch on them.

The film is shot using handheld digital cameras which gives the movie an even more skitterish (is that a word?) feeling. It adds to the excitement, the confusion, the silliness of it all. The main characters are played by Karen Bach and Raffaela Anderson, who we're told on the box are veterans of the French adult film industry. Judging by the sex scenes, that's pretty accurate.

Anyway, the two happen to meet up randomly, each trying to run away from the town they live in. Manu (Anderson) has just killed her brother and Nadine the prostitute (Bach) has just strangled her roommate and watched her junkie best friend get shot. Armed with Manu's brother's car, they get to moving and within the first night they are already muggers, popping off some poor businesswoman who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Then they dance to techno.

I'll be honest. They're pretty irresponsible. At first I was just horrified. But after a while when they actually start killing men like black widows you start to feel the pain. They get so good at shooting people you can feel the release from 20-some odd years of abuse all dribbling away.

Anyway, just like Thelma & Louise the ending is not that great for our heroines but you knew that when you started the movie anyway. The violence and sex are shocking but the way the director handled it, it could have been more gratitutous. It's necessary for the plot to see them so displaced and then so vibrant. Very good film though not for the faint of heart.

The N Files:Neko Case - Fox Confessor Brings The Flood

I often brag about the amount of music that I hold hostage on my computer. Here's a secret (probably pretty obvious): I haven't listened to most of it. I honestly have spent more time down...I mean obtaining copies from my friends to ever have the time to sit down and honestly listen to it. Since I felt the internet was tiring me (yet I'm back on) and I wanted to give my mind a refresher, I thought I'd listen to some of those neglected tunes, many of which are smart playlists in my iTunes.

Now where do I get this music. Well I breeze through the supposedly knowledgeable publications of the day like The Village Voice and such and see what they recommend. I have finally embraced that I have more of a black music focus, but I've always been open to what MTV used to play. My freshman year of high school was a serious grunge phase where I wrote Nirvana lyrics and did my best impression of the kid from the Pearl Jam video so I have quite an eclectic collection of unlistened music.

So the N Files (for neglected) is my attempt to maintain a series of my attempts to digest all this music that I have. Hopefully by the end of the year all 24,000 items in my iTunes will be sufficiently listened to. Some will be lifted to manual playlists. Some will be discarded to the wayside. But all is fair in love and music. I would love to be one of those people that can perfectly place what a song or theme is reminiscent of like "this reminds me of the bridge in an Eddie Kendricks song" but that ain't me. I really admire those people but man I just love music. If I dissected it that much, it would lose something for me.

I wanted to come up with some sort of rating system that was kitschy and cool and uniquely mine, but I really don't have the energy or imagination for that right now so you just have to read the whole posting okay.

Today's selection is from Neko Case, the title of which is Fox Confessor Brings The Flood. I saw lots of things on it from Village Voice and The A.V. Club so I figured I'd find a friend (wink) who had it and got a copy. I started to play it back and forth as I came and left the room during laundry today and I must say that it was jarring, but in a good way. I had barely gotten through the first song and I was humming about "Pauline" as I loaded the washer. This is from the song "Margaret vs. Pauline" off of the album.

As I continued along, I was oddly drawn to her voice. It's just beautiful in a backwoods down South kind of way. She's rocking on harder stuff than that most of the time, but it comes off like some sort of punk country album. On paper that doesn't sound like my cup of tea, but it is appealing and definitely replayable. All the songs have this textured yet simple feel that was very relaxing. I also know I was drawn to the lyrics. I can't tell you what they were word for word, but my ears definitely perked up more than once and I plan on listening some more to get the full meaning.

Neko really moved me though. She's already made my shortlist for the dog I eventually have and that's saying something. If I listen some more, I might have to tell my future betrothed that Neko needs to be a middle name in one of our offspring. Once she hears the music, I'm sure she'll understand. It's that good.

Complacency

The American Heritage Dictionary of the English language defines complacency as so: 1. A feeling of contentment or self-satisfaction, especially when coupled with an unawareness of danger, trouble, or controversy. 2. An instance of contented self-satisfaction.

I define complacency as a mistress that will lead you down the road of heartbreak and sadness. Complacency is like a booty call number at the end of your black book. It's so reliable that you're a fool not to call it up on a regular basis to give you what you need: ignorance from any possible situation that might be unfavorable to you.

It's a dangerous place to visit and one I am sad to say am quite familiar with. I could be the mayor. But time has arrived to move on. So now that I spent the last hour doing jack and spent another 3 minutes writing this, I should get on with doing things that are really productive. Time to get on the ball.

Mojo Rising

So today was a beautiful day all around and I feel some synergy beginning to happen. I woke up kind of late hoping that there was no staff meeting but there was. But I got a ride over to the place so that was pretty cool. Banana and I joked across the training room as DFWD (not a permanent nickname) and I wrote notes to each other. Then she and I got tickets to Mariah even though we didn’t have the pass-code to get into the presale tickets. So we’ll be on the floor for Mariah and Sean Paul in August. I wasn’t originally excited but it’s getting to me slowly but surely. I just did one of my trademark skips about 40 minutes ago. My boys didn’t go bananas on me all day and one even promised to save me a slice of his birthday cake even though I didn’t ask. On the ride home, Special K and I jammed to some old school tunes. I was touched that she thought I would appreciate them. I’m working on a new playlist right now so we can kill it on Sunday. Plus, I think I have tentative plans with a former co-worker (no nickname just yet, but I still love her) for a little get-together.

Most of all I realized I didn’t swear the whole day. There were opportunities but I didn’t even have to cue myself to hold back or think of an alternative. It is just a testament to determination and continual reliance on something stronger than yourself to help you through. Lately this verse has been sticking in my mind from Romans 12:2: “Do not seek to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.” Lately it has been my memory verse and one I hope sustains me for quite sometime.

Manic mood continues for another day.